401 Plan

If you had purchased $1,000 of Lehman Bros. stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.

With Wachovia, you would have $16.50 left.

With AIG, you would have less than $5 left.

But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago,

drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,

you would have had $214.

Based on the above,

the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg plan.