Name that folder.

Christmas song, sung to the tune of O' Christmas Tree

Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, we slay more than the others.
Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, we kill greenies not their mothers.
Some other teams don't have the skills, and hardly as many kills.
Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, we are the best damn folders.

Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, we build the best concealed blinds.
Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, our spreads of decoys look so fine.
The ducks come in and good they feel, but they will soon be full of steel.
Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, your jealousy is so well grounded.

Each week we go out to fold, impervious to the rain and cold.
Hoy7 hunting team, Hoy7 hunting team, we are the best team ever.

Name that folder.

The blue chair should be a giveaway.

Day Fourteen.

Day fourteen and B. DaFolder moves solidly into second place.

It all started with a trip to the 'poker chip' area of Sauvies island. Fred and Lisa picked me up at 4:15 and we hit the road to Sauvies with the intention of picking the lowest number ever. Unfortunately on the way in the radio was playing nothing but crappy 80s' music. In total darkness Fred reaches up into the CD collection and pulls out a disk for our listening enjoyment that so happens to be none other than Lynyrd Skynyrd. He must have used all the mojo, luck, skill or whatever normally allows him to pick the low numbers at poker chip because we ended up with #108. (I picked #117, typical.)

As we walked to the shack for our blind choice we were terrified to learn we were second to last for picks. Mr. Warden suggested Steelman #7 (always a good choice #7 is) and off we went. After setting a blind that made the existing one look like a tar paper shanty, and throwing out a decoy spread that would attract ducks from miles around. we settled in for some fine killin' action. The ducks weren't really flyin' and that prompted a new bet for $10 first kill. The picture above shows the result of that bet. Bob $10 richer. Notice the shoveler like bill and white stripe. Think you can identify that duck? Neither could we. (It doesn't count if you look it up Cliffy. Oh, and by the way, I retrieved this myself. Does it count?)

After a delicious lunch and a nice nap we called it a day. After all Fred G. has some work to do before the holidays. Stay tuned for Wednesdays adventure with the HOY7 hunting team.

GBCH. 8

Fred G. here.

Just a few things I would like to add to day 14. Bobs up most confidence shined trough today in his Benelli Pump Master after folding, get this a folding of a duck on each of the last two hunting days. If he keeps this up by the end of the year he may have 17. We head out to the New Old New spot on Wednesday, a perfect place for John V. to join the team in some slaying.

Peace Out

Team Slay. Hit Play.

More Jack Handey

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke.

Day Thirteen

The way I see it 13 is a lucky number. Today was a great day, started off with a spectacular morning, brisk and calm. After building the best blind ever at the New Old New Spot we settle in for day 13. As we were sitting there waiting for cilling time we hear a voice from down the slough. "Anybody down there?" Bob answers back "Yeah just the greatest hunting team ever." A man and his dog build a blind down the way and across from us. During the down time we watch the dog stand watch, never moving just doing what he was born for, fetching ducks. Some time passes and a few ducks fly by here and there. All of the sudden out of nowhere a hen and drake gadwell fly into our spread, Bob and I fold them, they came in quick. Unfortunately we only wing them and they swim to the other side of the river. Panic ensues, we are in a tizzy, Bob threatens to go over his waders and risk wet feet to retrieve his duck, but it's hopeless. Suddenly Grampa Clyde appears before us and lays some wisdom on us "you go walk around this river to the other side and look for those ducks, all day if you have to!" We hustle across to the other side, and while we were trekking a man named Dave and his dog named Gunner started out before us to help us retrieve our ducks. Gunner only 1 and 1/2 years old was "more than happy to help us out" said Dave. It's what he loves to do. We get back to the blind and do a little celebrating. Bob folds his first duck of the year, awesome! Bobs hungry now, I break out an unprecedented beef stew with buttered french bread. Oh yea cooked fresh there in the blind over a camp stove, pretty good. Well that induces sleep into Bob, I take a walk and scare up a few more ducks but nothing serious. I get back to the blind and we pack up to walk back, our bags heavier than when we walked in and smiles on our face. Sauvies Island wheres that?

.

.

Fred G.

PS To the three guys who walked trough our blind today just doing a "scouting" mission. STAY OUT!

Throwin' Down the Challenge.

You see above you a picture of two great 80's icons. On the right, Bubstein Kuehl who regular readers know you don't want to be like. On the left, Captain of Industry and potential pussy, Nedly. This challenge goes out to Mr. Vice President, hunt with the team or suffer eternal scorn. This "man" said at one time that he would come out and go hunting with the H7HT. So far he has not. This makes him a weakling and could scar him for life. Many of you also want to come hunting with the H7HT but are afraid of the consequences and have not spoken up, but when someone says "Yes, I'll be there" that's like a formal commitment eh? Don't be afraid Nedly. Don't be afraid.

Day Twelve

On day twelve I spotted some ducks.

I also took some shots at ducks.

I missed.

My teamate made fun of me.

Hey, what are friends for.

That was day twelve.

Oh yeh, it also included a mean 14 layer ham sammy.

Guest editor

Ha! It is I Greenie and I rule!

Now that it is more than halfway through your stupid hunting season and none of you have managed to see me, let alone shoot me, I have a wager of my own. I will put up ten of my French Canadian dollars if you ineffective, impotent and worthless hunters can even graze me with a shot from your pitiful Italian guns. Remember that ten of my dollars equal about a thousand of yours. I quack in your general direction.

I am Greenie and I rule!

More Drinking Quotes

YEEAAHHH!!!!

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.

.

Maggie Bergin

1966-present

And On the Eleventh Day.......

Charlton Heston created water. Yes folks it's that time of the year again, the water is up. Day eleven started off all most like every other hunting morning but with just a few exceptions. The first being we had a small welcome back party for Lisa. We celebrated with a fresh tank of gas and Red Bull. Secondly Bob learned an important lesson, an alarm only works if you turn it on. After loading up Lisa we headed out to the "Old New Spot" and after a short walk we discover the water is up about 7 feet as well as a fog 7 feet thick. While trying to find a dry spot to set up a "camp" I discover how badly my waders leek. After a few steps in the water my boots are filled I mean FILLED with water. We find a spot and throw out the blocks. Bobs feet are dry, I'm literally standing in 3 inches of water I'm wondering how long I'm going to last, it's still very early but at least its not cold. We have a brilliant idea, why not build a fire, dry my socks and feet, put my feet into nice dry socks then into some plastic bags we have available. This Is Survivor Man! Ever try to make a fire in the woods after it has rained 3 1/2 inches in 2 days? This team did! After my first failed attempt Bob da Folder's 4H years came back to him. In the old days they used to call him one match Bob. Well Bob gets the fire going but it just can't sustain for a long period of time due to the moist branches. As I'm standing there snacking on some Pringles watching Bob struggle, I have a brilliant idea. Do you know how well and hot 6 or 7 Pringles burn? You stack those suckers just right and bamo instant fire. Just a tip to you from the H7HT. Anyway got my socks dried and and put my feet into those 7-11 plastic bags and back into my waders. No luck. The fog never really lifted and the water only came up some more and my buddy noticed my pain and discomfort, (not the same pain and discomfort he had on day 10, literally dropping wolf bait) so he called the day. What a pal.

Lisa

Lisa was sick and now she's better. After a long time recovering from: new master brake cylinder, new brake drums and pads, overhaul on transmission, radiator flush and conditioner, new points, rebuilt drive shaft among some other small things at Dr. Bradshaws' shes back and better that ever. We would like to thank everyone for their concern and for their flowers and cards. It means a lot. Also the personal attention Dr. Bradshaw spent with here was great, not to mention how they made me feel like a proud dad by telling me how beautiful she is and what great shape she is in. Tears.

Day Ten

Day ten had lots of weather.

It all started without our best piece of hunting gear, Lisa. She was at the doctors and we had to go hunting in the Volvo. Sure other hunters may have laughed but were they part of the fabled HOY7 hunting team? NO. So off to Sauvies island we went in the comfort, luxury and safety that only a Volvo can provide. After running the gauntlet of fallen trees (actually we had to turn around and go the other way) we made it through the storm to the 'wait in line' section of the island. By definition we were only the second car in line that morning, but there were also 30 trucks. Our patience was rewarded with spot #7 in the mudhen unit.

After a soggy walk we set up as best the driving wind would allow. The rain hammered and the wind blew and some shots were taken. I'm positive that we did not fold any ducks that day because leading the punks was damn near impossible in the tsunami like conditions. Strangely enough we stayed pretty darn dry and had a fine day. Play the video above for a glimpse at day tens' conditions.

GBCH

Day Nine

Ever wake up in the morning and say "It's Going To Be A GREAT Day!'? That was day nine. Lisa is sick and so was I. You see my folks were out visiting from Connecticut for the holidays, they come out to visit at least 2-3 times a year that makes me feel pretty special. Anyway today is a Wednesday hunt, so last night I took the night off from work and spent it with my Dad and a man named Chucker at the local Eagles club playing Texas No-Limit Poker. What a glorious night it was, knowing that Lisa was in the hospital and that Bob would be driving us in the Volvo I decided to part take in a little holiday cheer should I say, I was hanging with Mr. Jack Daniels until about 1:30 in the a.m. I won 420 dollars by the way. Being a Sauvies day Bob will be picking me up at 4 a.m which means I would have to wake up at 3:30, you do the math. Needles to say I felt pretty special. After a few instances with "a greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ash tray" we pull up to the non-reservation line. Did I mention that last week was turkey day? I cooked a lovely braised rabbit served over fresh egg noodles. Well as we pull around the corner we noticed there are not a lot of cars in line, as a matter of fact there are no cars in line, because of the holiday the hunt days were upped by one day. Remember how special I feel. Well we decide to drive out to Twin Falls which is a good hour away. We get to Twin Falls which has only one good aspect to it, the walk in is only 7 minutes. I think we have only seen I duck up to this point and I folded it, remember the beautiful wood duck last year? I nap. Wake up. Feel better. Scare off the only other two ducks we have ever seen there. Drink some. Pack up and decide for the unprecedented 3 stop hunting day, we decide to stop at the Old New Spot. We get out to a really nice blind out on the point of a small island, have some drink and some lunch. Big mistake. I take about a 2 mile hike down a slough and poke my head out the other side of a burm. About a dozen red heads and they are big. I raise my Benelli Super Black Eagle they take off, I lower my gun, not knowing whether or not I would be able to retrieve the three ducks I would have folded I decided not to pull the trigger. (That one was for you grampa Clyde) Besides they flew down the slough about 200 yards towards the blind we have set up, so I decide to keep pushing them towards the blind and I know Bob will fold one of them for sure. As I am pushing them I come across the biggest greenie I have ever seen, he was with his woman. I again jump them and I have the greenie in my bead. Again, grampa Clyde was with me, I was uncertain that I could retrieve. 10 dollars through my finger never felt so bad but so good at the same time. So remember we had lunch and some drink before my two mile adventure? I keep pressing these birds up the slough towards are blind, and finally over our blind. Nothing. Not even a call. Nothing. I get back to the blind and the man is asleep.
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Word Out From The Old Side
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Fred G.

Where the ducks are. Courtesy of Jenny X.

Migration Map, Waterfowl Migration, Duck Migration, Duck Hunting, Goose Hunting

Rest in peace old friend.

Yesterday the world of bad-ass hunters lost a good friend. Most people don't know Evel was a duck hunter and regular reader of the HOY7 hunting team blog. In this photo we can see Evel getting ready for some hunting of his own. Money for a Greenie bet, a watch to tell when shooting time begins, a cane for who knows what and his trusty .38 for those pesky ducks. We sure will miss you Evel.

Sometimes Bad Things Happen When You Drink

A bet between me and a Green Bay Packer fan, key word PACKER. Made on New Years Eve.

Be Prepared.

With the forecast of freezing fog I decided to dress warm.

Smartwool liner socks. Smartwool heavy weight sock. Polarmax midweight base layer bottoms. Columbia Widgeon fleece pants. 3mm neoprene waders with 1000 grams thinsulate boots. 2 Smartwool tops, layered. Camo fleece turtleneck. Columbia Ducunder 600 fill down liner jacket. Columbia Widgeon parka. Paige Taylor original fleece balaclava. Manzella thinsulate gloves. H7HT hat.

Not being able to lift my arms, priceless

Absotively

A big thanks to HOY7 hunting team member and all around great guy, Steve-a-rino. Rest assured that I will personally make sure this cuzzi holds only the finest domestic beer a little money can buy. I also appreciate how it sums up my thoughts on life all eloquent and shit.

Day Seven & Eight.

I'm taking the liberty of reporting day 7 & 8 together. They had different starts but exactly the same outcome.

Day 7: Important day for the HOY7 hunting team so we chose the Old Old spot for some prime folding action. Slight chill to the air, great sammy, nice nap, no folding.

Day 8: Twin Falls on the menu. Much too windy so we ended up at the Old New spot for the first time this year. Hot breakfast sammys on the way in, even chillier with the gale force winds, short nap, no folding.

There you have it. A short report for this week but not much to show for it anyway. With that being said I must tell you that both days had natural beauty and rustic charm that you can only find on a HOY7 hunting team excursion. ( Just look at the pictures from both days) You too can join the fun for the low low price of three sammys.

Don't be a loser like Bubba Kuehl, plan your trip today

GBCH

Name that folder.

Where Are You Jiggity?

If this man were here today we'd be in jail. Play the video and you tell us why.

Arctic trip by A.C.L.

The following pictures are from my Moms' trip to the Great White North. (Isn't she lookin' good? Notice the white spot in the background, polar bear she made go to sleep with pop rocks and Coke-a-cola.) As minimal text accompanied these pictures I will do my best to provide a fictitiously amusing story to go with them per H7HT regulations.

As she traveled to the city of Hegrestervack she was greeted by this ancient Inuit formation called a "kladstrack" or "pile of rocks" by the literal translation. It is good luck to leave an offering of smaller rocks at it's base and some ammonium nitrate to counteract the effects of the massive radioactive facility in the background.

There she met her guide for the trip. (His name is Wally and he is obviously prepared for his photo to be published in the HOY7 hunting blog by bringing his 12ga.)

Wally sells genuine Eskimo hats made of seal skin and the fur of Free range polar bears on the side but his real occupation is taking tourists close enough to wild polar bears to rub their bellies and feed them snacks. Being the intrepid explorer type, Mom was in. She and Wally traveled 177Km by dog sled and Nordic skis made from seal bones to the spot where the elusive wild polar bears live in order to bring them her famous Ice Box Cake and some killer brownies.

This polar bear they named Mr. Scrunchie Button Nose . He enjoyed the Ice Box Cake and the brownies but became agitated when the treats ran out. At that point he tried to steal her purse and throw her camera in the water (just like another H7HT member) but they thwarted him with a stern "Down boy!". With the treats all gone and the polar bears in a state of hyperactive bliss they retreated to the northern outpost of Rykervydikesk and shot some skeet. Mom of course crushed Wally even though she hasn't shot skeet in years. She also took him for 1,000 Drakcleks ($7) in a second round grudge match.

Thanks to my Mom for these fine pictures and the chance to share this great story. The only thing missing is your official HOY7 hunting team hat. Maybe next time.

GBCH.

Guest editor.

HA! It is I Greenie and I rule!

I see you stupid hunters have started another season of frustration and loathing. Don't think I did not see you shoot my 3rd cousin from British Columbia the other day. His name was Jean Claude and he felt fine. The reason he did not fly when you "jumped" him was that he had eaten some of your American grains and seed. It made him slow to react.

I suspect that you think I will suffer the same fate when I travel through your area on my way to the beachfront home I own in Carmel California. No chance losers! I see your ill-concieved attempt at concealment and am not fooled by the lifeless plastic looking pieces of detritus you have floating in front of you. Good luck with that 3 1/2" shell you have loaded up, it will never reach me because of your poor shooting skills and inability to look down the barrel. Kiss my French Canadian ass, I quack in your general direction.

I am Greenie and I RULE!

“It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where your going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice"

Jim Morrison

Circa 1965

All Hail the Expert!*

*Picture taken before Day Six

Day Six.

I must apologize as today's post has no photo to accompany it. They say that a photo is worth a thousand words but sometimes a description is all you have to go with. On to day 6.

The day started with one of the most beautiful sunrises you could ever imagine. Red sky's lit up Mt. Hood and thousands of geese flew over our heads on their trek across the island. Even though this is prime time for morning ducks we had to stop and take in the beauty before us.If you had a camera you certainly would have taken a picture or two, maybe even a video to share. I did.

Some good opportunities presented themselves for folding and we had some good shots, but alas,no ducks were downed this morning. We did however have some good photo opps and anyone in their right mind would have gotten some good pics. I did. As the day wore on we had a nice lunch, some more good pass shooting and the chance to share some stories. Of course there were also more times when you would want to mark the day with a nice photo. I did.

So, once again I must apologize for the lack of a good picture for today's entry. I happened to take a nap as I usually do sometime during the course of the day. I also happened to let Fred G. use my camera. I will leave it to your imagination as to what the outcome of this decision was but suffice to say there is no photo for today's blog entry.

GBCH

Video of #2 kill.

Press Play Twice.

Retribution?

From last year:


On day six I had great reaction time and folded a duck at the old new spot. It landed in the water and slowly floated away from the point at which I could retrieve it. The wind and tidal influences took the downed duck all the way across the river to an area which I could not get to. After a feeble attempt to cross the river I was thwarted by high water over the giant hole in my waders and my fear of drowning. Dwayne, as we named him, died an unnecessary death.I told this sad story today because I'm sure my Grandfather would not be pleased with my hunting skills. I learned something today. Don't shoot beyond your ability to get your duck. Always wear the waders without the giant hole. And finally, I need a good dog. Rest in peace Dwayne.


I tell this story from last year to tell you this story from this year:

Day five unfolded exactly as planned. With the return of cold and rainy weather to the Willamette Valley the HOY7 Hunting Team set out to the West side of Sauvies island known as Poker Chip. Fred G pulled the impossibly low number of 9 while I pulled 167. Still there were six groups of hunters in front of us, all who seemed to know the wardens, strange. We picked Mud Lake unit #5 and set out in a light rain to set up for the day. After waiting for sunrise we saw some good action and waited for the 60,000 geese to stop flying in front of our guns.

I took a short nap, of course, and Fred G brought down the second duck of the season, a nice hen mallard followed shortly by a Hen Gadwall. The rain was coming in sheets and the wind was blowing hard. The action was fast and furious but being Sauvies and all, the ducks are scared. After a short while I noticed a nice Greenie swimming in our spread. I prepared to jump shoot him and as I broke cover he tried to fly but was wounded with a broken wing. Knowing that there was no good outcome for him I shot him and added him to our days take.

I tell this story because I don't feel all that great about shooting a duck in the water. My teammate reassured me I did the right thing and that this duck did not die in vain. I remembered Dwayne from last year and hope that in some cosmic way this evens our score. I will now return to the Tom Foolery you have come to expect from us here at the HOY7 HT.
GBCH

I Like This Thing Called Haiku

Klonapin is kicking in

Gun is by the door

Ducks will fall in the morning

History lesson.

Early Sauvie Island ...
Sauvie Island has had various names throughout its history, including "Multnomah Island", "Sauve Island", "Sauvies Island", "Sauvie Island", "Souvies Island", "Wapato Island", "Wappato Island", "Wapatoo Island", "Wappatoo Island", "Wappatto Island", and "Wyeth Island". In 1891 the U.S. Board of Geographic Names made "Sauvie Island" the official name.
In 1792, Lieutenant William Broughton of the British Vancouver expedition visited the island and named the northern end (downstream tip) of the island "Warrior Point" and, according to some historians, he named an upstream point "Belle Vue Point." Other historians say Kelley Point, across from today's Belle Vue Point, is Broughton's Belle Vue Point.
In 1805 and 1806, the Lewis and Clark expedition called the island "Wappato Island" after the Indian word for arrowhead root which grew in the marshes of the island.
Between 1834 and 1835, Nathaniel Wyeth, an American entrepreneur, built Fort Williams in an attempt to establish a fur-trading enterprise in Hudson's Bay Company territory. The Fort was constructed on the island near the confluence of the Willamette River with the Columbia, about five miles from Fort Vancouver, and named for one of Wyeth's fur trade partners. Wyeth was unable to get a foothold into the Hudson's Bay Company trade and he abandoned the project in 1836. Some early maps used the name "Wyeth Island". By 1838, the Hudson's Bay Company was utilizing the island to graze cattle and horse, and by 1841 four dairy farms had been established on the island to supply milk, butter, and cheese. Settler's began arriving on the island by the 1840s.
The lettering "Sauvies Island" appeared on Preston's 1856 Map of Oregon, and in Bancroft's History of the Northwest Coast (Vol.2) it states the island was named after Jean Baptiste Sauve. However, according to McArthur in Oregon Geographic Names (2003):
"... In the files of the Oregon Historical Society is a letter from George B. Roberts to Frances Fuller Victor, dated November 7, 1879, in which he says that Sauve Island bears the name of a Canadian, Laurent Sauve, also called LaPlante. ..." George B. Roberts arrived as a member of the Hudson's Bay Company in 1831, and Frances Fuller Victor was one of the authors of the Bancroft publication. To read more about this check out the McArthur publication.
A post office near the mouth of the Willamette River named "Mouth of Willamette" was established in June 1851. In March 1852 the name was changed to "Souvies Island". This post office was discontinued in August 1860. A new post office named "Sauvies Island" was established in May 1866 about two miles south of Reeder Point.

Poetry for day Five

The long work week is finally done,

Hunting days are coming soon.

After all the ducks have been called and come,

They'll fly unsuspecting to their doom.

A single shot will bring them down,

A quick retrieve will get them in.

There will be a new kill leader in town,

B. DaFolder is sure to win.

Name that folder

A Moment of Quiet Reflection. Reprise

The HOY7 hunting team would like to take this opportunity to send our best wishes to Brother B. As he embarks on a new path of sobriety and cleanliness we ask him to remember his friends are there for him. Happy Trails Brother!

"The problem with some people is that when they are not drunk they're sober"

William Butler Yeats

Name that folder.

Day Four

After a far too long hiatus the two founding members of the world famous HOY7 Hunting Team finally made it back to the mighty Columbia River. We left extra early to accommodate the newly enacted daylight savings time rule. (Strangely enough there was exactly the same amount of light as the day before) After the hike in we set up at the old old spot but soon moved to a new area on the point out closer to the shipping lanes. The water was down substantially and we had to make due with the meager coverage. Fortunately we are not only the best hunters you know, but also the best at camoflage. We are so good in fact that only once did any ducks fly over our head.

The bright sunlight and delicious sandwich combined to create the perfect atmosphere for a nice long nap. I took full advantage. Shortly after we packed up and headed home as the 4:00 workbell rang. Some days there just aren't any ducks to shoot at and this was one of those days. Funny how you can miss a nice cold rainy day eh?

Today's picture is an art photo taken from Fred Gs' late day vantage point. Don't forget to ask him about his favorite way to "leave a bathroom" Good story for sure.

GBCH

Just When You Think It's Safe To Go Back Into the Water

Sometimes the H7HT slays in other ways. Today was Andy's birthday and look what he got. He got a 10 pound steel head salmon, he named him Norman. Normally 357 Like the Magnum is a catch and release kind of guy, but not on this day. Congrats Mr. Inquisitive and Happy Birthday! We'll update you later with the details of how it was prepared and enjoyed.




(Note: This picture would have been a hell of a lot better if Cliff was wearing his official H7HT hat. )

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy"

Chairman Of the Board

Where Are They Now?

Happy Halloween From the Hoy 7 Hunting Team

Halloween Party


A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little romp.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.

He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

Lore

Saturday, July 08, 2006

A Srory Of Mud And Mud Backwards

Hello Friends.
Being there I must interject just a little. It's a story of the mud and a boy named Tommy. Many years ago, myself and some guys named Curieye, Bubba L and Domino (sorry about those sunglasses by the way) decided to take to a day on the CT river. I myself being so large decided to hog all of the ski and knee board time myself, it must have been at least 6 hours straight on the water, I was wasted. Needless to say my massive pythons and thick thighs were k'd. Curieye decided to moor the boat about a half mile out from the beach and said "lets swim to shore" cause being from the east coast we call it the shore. Anyway to make a short story even longer, about a half mile into it, my pythons being as tiered as they were wanted to quit. I couldn't go any further, I decided my destiny was to die right there in the CT river. I was done, I was ready to meet my maker. My life flashed before my eyes. Then lo and behold a young lad out of nowhere said " yo Fred G with your pythons so large, jump into my blow up raft and I shall get you to shore safely". Not to let the young lad down I jumped in and he got me to the shore with some cold berf waiting, safely no less. Well today was a day that brought me back to the day that a young man named Tommy saved me from certain death. I was the man stuck in the quicksand like mud up to my waist today. My long time hunting buddy, companion, my bffe, came back to save his friend because we are a hunting team. HOY7HT is what we call ourselves. He risked his own life to save me from drowning in a mud puddle. After hours of risking uncertain death himself he and myself were able to free myself from the python choking like mud, the more I struggled the more it sucked me down to certain death. After freeing myself we sat and tried to drink some whiskey, we couldn't even, thats how bad it was....you know the whole story now, I just wanted to make sure the MAN named BUBBA got his props, you too TOMMY. I LOVE YOU GUYS....I'm not afraid to say it, I love two men. I'm here because of you twos.
Thanks.

God BlessFred G

A Break In the Action

Sometimes you just want to get up in the morning and go hunting. Well, not this morning.

The season isn't over and it certainly has begun but something prevents us from hunting today. A two day break in the action right at the begining of the fun. Why? I don't know.

Rather than complaining about how this affects the mental state of the team, or how great the sandwich would have been, or even how I would have folded the first Greenie of the season today I'm going to try to be positive. Maybe they needed time to let the ducks rest. Maybe this is an opportunity for the wardens to look at harvest numbers. Maybe this is a time for new ducks to travel through the Pacific Flyway without the threat of the HOY7 hunting teams power. Whatever the reason I hope things work out okay, because next time we are going to make up for today. GBCH

More Jack Handey

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy.

I'll just walk around being real happy

until some jerk says something stupid to me.

Fred G. Takes A Stab At It

No Hunting Or Killing Now

My Bottle Is Full

Lisa Sits And Waits Idle

Automobile?

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember

if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

-George Burns-

Goes Great with Duck

Andy V., aka. 357 aka. Cliffy went chanterelle

hunting and bags 13 pounds.

(NOTE: A team member actually sends in a pic. for blog)

Name That Folder

Day Three.

Day three saw the first time in a long while that the top three slayers of the storied HOY7 hunting team all sat in the same blind. That's right, Andy 'Cliffy' V. joined us for a day of hunting fun. Of course this particular picture does not do him justice. Cliffy was at the pinacle of awareness and attention untill the days excitement overtook him and he had to 'bring it down a notch'. Meanwhile Fred G. was trying to 'bring it up a notch'. Perhaps if Cliffy had worn his H7HT head gear he would be more involved in this moment.

The day started out clear and warm, never a great sign of impending folding. Also the day before there had been a large windstorm. It seems that every time we have a big windstorm the next few days are less than great. I attribute that to all the ducks being blown downriver to Astoria or perhaps Hawaii. At any rate we saw only minimal ducks and got off fewer shots. Nonetheless, a good time was had by all and we made plans to repeat the process in the near future.

GBCH

(as a sidebar I would like to point out two major developments for the day. #1 There were only two sandwiches for three hunters. #2 Fred G. again drank my last sip, but I was glad he did this time.)

Anyone Still Think It's A Bad Idea To Kill These Things?

On Sunday, May 21st, an adult male mallard was brought to the International Bird Rescue Research Center (IBRRC), with what appeared to be a broken wing. Since 1971, the IBRRC has been rescuing birds from the devastating effects of oil spills around the world. Marie Travers, assistant manager of the center, radiographed the mallard and was immediately shocked by what was revealed on the x-ray. A very clear image of what appeared to be the face, or head, of an extraterrestrial alien was in the bird's stomach.

Day Two

Did I mention I made beef jerky for today's slay? How does a man that drives get the extra half hour of sleep? And speaking of sleeping is it not the early bird that gets the worm? These questions and more but first a word from our sponsor.

"Jameson Whiskey A Fine Drinking Whiskey Good Enough For the Hoy 7 Hunting Team"

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Always drink responsibly and take at least one nap

Day Two. I must admit that today I slept in just a little bit but for good reason. I got the elusive 15 extra minutes of sleep that's not suppose to come with driving. The reason being was that I was up all night making fresh beef jerky for the team. I will post the recipe later. I scrambled over to Bob DaFolders' house as fast as Lisa would take me. Upon arrival I see Bob sitting and waiting ever so patiently, Bob gets in my apologies go out and Bob says "we'll never make poker chip!" which he was totally correct because it was 5:03 and we would have to be at poker chip by 5:30, and with an hour drive it was not going to happen. Bob DaFolders silence envelops the truck like a fog over San Francisco. After we hustle to the East side of Sauvies and get in the non-reservation line the fog clears, things seem to be cool, especially since we are not the last ones in line, but the fifth to last. Did I mention I made fresh beef jerky for the team? Well after a little wait we were awarded blind number 13 in the Hunt unit, for me one of the more scenic blinds but not a favorite among hunters due to the late morning light and such. The H7HT loves a challenge. After Bob expertly lays out the blocks we settle in with the same morning rituals, whikey, smokes, chat, whikey and so forth and so on. A lot of sky busting going on and a little frustration, time for lunch. I must have put some of that stuff that's in turkeys cause when Bob was done with his sammy he went right to sleep. Well guess what happens when Bob sleeps? That's right Fred G. kills. Hen Mallard flew about 20 yards out coming into our spread and bamo, first kill of the year for Fred G. and the team, guess what that makes me? See new poll. Well a bunch of same happens, Bob is now trying to stay awake cause he don't want to miss it. Well guess what? he falls asleep again. Now right about this time my bottle of whikey is gone and I look over to Bobs bottle and see he has ever so little left. Well knowing that when Bob wakes up were just going to leave and since I'm carring the bag with all that kind of stuff in it I wanted to make sure the bag was as light as possible, so I drank his last bit of whikey, and as I did he woke up just in time to see me finish his bottle off. Remember the FOG?

Fred G.

We Asked For It!

The other day my H7HT team member and all around expert in all things hunting asked our other team members to please send in some photos of their hunting exploits. Shortly thereafter I received this E-mail from the legendary Brother B. Hopf. Although not a duck hunter currently, the Brother does have a keen eye for ducks. He sent in this fine picture of a duck. I altered the photo in order to not violate the terms of agreement with our service provider.

Thanks Brother for your contributions to the blog and our American way of life.

Haiku

Waking in the morning calm

Feel the chilling air

Anticipation is great

By Jack Handey

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would

sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Day One.

The eastern morning sky turned a golden red as the sun came up over Mt Hood today. We had traveled to the old old spot and witnessed another glorious morning filled with promise and splendor. As The start of the 2007 hunting season began I think we realized how lucky we are.

Not only are we members of the best hunting team ever, we also travel in the coolest 1975 F-250 on the road, have the finest Italian guns money can buy, eat like kings, sit in comfort, and know everything there is to know about folding ducks. With this being said I think there's no reason to go into how many ducks we got today. It seems to pale in comparison to the experiences we have. Sure, I'd tell you about the shots we had, the ducks flying in the morning air and the abundant wildlife we saw but that would only be gloating. You may have had to work today. Maybe you didn't get to be outside in the crisp air. So let's leave out the details of the final numbers of fat greenies we brought home. It only seems fair.

Day one was great. God Bless Charlton Heston and all the friends of the HOY7 Hunting team.

Before and After

How many differences can you spot between these two pictures?

Preperations Complete

WHIKEY

CHECK!

GUN

CHECK!

?

Potential sandwich for the first day of hunting season.

We may need a bigger backpack.

Who's At the Top Of the Money List?

Cold Hard Cash

(from the not so distant past)
Behold the somewhat somber face of Honest Abe. This very piece of good ole American currency came to me today by way of one very dead greenie. Finally after days of tempting fate, Mr. Greenhead flew by the wrong Benelli totin' folding machine. I gave him about 3 1/2 inches of steel death from a respectable distance of 20 yards or so. After a sucessfull retrieve I came back to the blind to find this finski stuck on a branch just for me. It's been a long time coming, but it sure was worth it.

Lore: First and Second Day 2006

Fred G Here
Yo all welcome back, hope you all had a great summer, I heard Andy B and his girl yo saved a small country in Africa from thirstation by learning how to rain dance from a small tribe in CT, now they are about to embark on adopting a small children from that same country, way to go Andy as if savin the Catrina peoples was not good enough to make us all look bad. I heard The Brother got another DUI, did a stint in rehab and is resting comfortably at his grannies. I heard Ned made another million. (FUCKER) Jenny X is a chumpion at his club. Curious....well I only heard from him when he was faced. God bless Corey Lidel. Steve O dug himself out of a hole and threatens to come back to PDX to kill, and the Bean just threatens. Day One Monday 16. With classic mis information from our team member Andy, who we will call Cliff Clavin from now on, we awoke at a bright and shine 3 am. Thats early people. Bubba picks me up, talk of lack of sleep, anticipation and what a great season it's gonna be ensues. We arrive at the check in gate at a crisp 4:15, second car in line. It seems early, because it is, we don't have to be here until 5:30, another classic H7HT blunder. Remember the mis info from Cliff. We hang with four guys in a Tercel. Finally gates open chips are pulled, Bubba pulls no. 141 ouch, Fred G pulls no. 20 which is good for 4th pick for blinds. Were off to a great start. We get to our blind do a little blind decorating, deeks out, sun up, bottle of So Co down. A little action, a few shots are takin and had, a few too many. My buddy passes out, I cleaned, pull the deeks out, wrap up the rotto, it's bluebird sky now and I get "what the fuck are you doing? did anybody ask me if it is over?" No Shmubba I just thought you would be more comfortable at home sleeping on you couch with Opra, besides half your face is beet red from passing out in the sun I say. "It's not Opra fucker it's Ellen! I got more booze and smokes." So my hunting bud "convinces" me we should throw the deeks back out. Two hours later no shots off no nothing we pack up and go home. Great tacos on the way home though, would have made Jiggity proud. Day Two Wednesday 18. See were the "best ever" cause we learn people. If we go back in time here are some things we have learned; you need a new license at the begging of the year, sometime certian ducks are out of season even though it is hunting season, and the ever popular salt will make your food taste better. Well gosh darn it if we didn't learn something today, you only have to be at the check in station a hour and a half before shoot time. So if shoot time is 7am you have to be there at? ............................ that's right 530am! We don't have to leave at 3:45 but we could leave at 4:45, thats an extra hour for Shmubba to sleep! Picks me up, were on our way, (note: remember when your mom used to or still does drink TAB? Well Bubba greeted me with a TAB energy drink this morning, I think it's for women going throught the change, anyway it SUCKS! If you should visit him and he offers you one, say no thank you you FAG cause it SUCKS!) it's Wednesday so it's the day we talk about POWERBALL people, let the dreams begin! Get to the check in station, small wait, we get a new blind we never had before, throw our deeks and it's like JFK at Christmas, the ducks are going off. 7 am hits, it sounds like Nam. I'm shooting at everything, I mean everything! But I'm not knocking nothing down until I fold two thats correct two with one shot and in the same volley another for a total of 3. I am now the new and improved expert. I need respect. A glorious morning folks. You will find a recipe for duck in a mole sauce and a picture of the 3 ducks I murdered today, if you notice the middle one I just wasted, damn I'm good. Anyway that's pretty much it for now, until next week.
And thanks for coming back.


Fred G.