There's nothing like a good truck.

Guest editor

HA! It I Greenie and I RULE!

You stupid hunters are all alike. Giving up on killing me because you know I am so superior to you and your pitiful attempts at taking me down. Nice try this year but as you know I am faster and stronger than ever before. Don't I look happy and peaceful sitting at my vacation home in Cabo San Duckus? We are all here laughing at you and your "Big Man" waders, your bright blue chair and your stolen duck call. That's right, it was was I Greenie who took it. Ha ha ha. Good luck honing your skills at trap and skeet. I will be eating free bread from PETA members and shitting on your golf courses in no time.

I quack in your general direction.

Poetry for NEXT year.

Just as the Giants are playing golf

My hunting was a little off.

But much like the Giants have next year

Mine also holds no fear.

Many Giants players will be back

And I too will attack.

Giant opponents do beware

and all you ducks fly with care.

Big Blue is bound to thrill

And I am ready and waiting to KILL.

Day 23 & 24

Well I don't have a picture from today but this one should give you the jist of our last day of the 06 - 07 hunting season. Day 23 was nothing to talk about but day 24 was killer.Fred G definitely takes the title of 'Expert' this year. His killing powers are nothing short of amazing. I like to think that someday I too will be as good of a folder as he is.

The death count for the final day of the season was 4. The hen mallard was the first to go. Followed by 3 other unlucky punk-ass flyers. I believe that Lamont had a hand in the final count for today as he gave one of us the mindset to kill at will.

I feel bad about the end of another great year of folding and will miss it twice every week. But as C. Heston once said, "All good things must come to an end."

There's nothing like a good truck.

Day 22

Snow is a gift of nature.
Being that Portland was in a "snow lock-down" we had the place to ourselves. Even the Mayor of portland declared that if you didn't HAVE TO go outside or to work that you SHOULD NOT. All this for 4 or 5 inches of snow. Man, ain't Portland great.

Somehow we made it all the way to the old old spot on the banks of the mighty Columbia without a catastrofic car wreck or dying from exposure to the elements. With a slight overcast sky and a light breeze we thought that the killing would be non-stop. Of coure, we were wrong.

Todays pictures however, reflect a somewhat disturbing event that happened on the return trip to our trusty truck. Out of nowhere a rather foulmouthed and agressive snowman appeared. We attempted to stay out of his way and, being the passive sorts, keep our distance so as not to provoke him. Unfortunately this would not be that easy. First he started in with the 'Your Momma' jokes. You know, like "Your Momma so stupid she put a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call." Still we kept our cool. Then he started the personal insults like "Nice waders fat man and Ohhhhh I almost didn't see you with all that camo on." Sure we got our feelings hurt but that's okay. THEN he started in with a tirade about the HOY7 hunting team being weak and our fold count being so low.

Let me tell you good readers, we had had enough. Nobody insults the team. Nobody!

I'll let you click on the 'Snowman....DEAD' post below to see what happened to that bitch. Just a little reminder to all of you that would contemplate badmouthing the HOY7 hunting team. Not a good idea at all. You're next Greenie.

GBCH

Guest editor

HA! It is I Greenie. So you stupid hunters think you have taken me down. I quack in the face of your poor decisions and misguided shooting. You may have succeded in killing my Uncle Jean Claude but you will never get me! As you can see I am much too fast for you lame Italian guns and rusty shells. While you were freezing in the cold I am protected by my layers of down and my knowing superiority. I am Greenie and I rule!

Day 21

Day 21 was a great day. It all started with cold temps and blustery winds, the perfect set for some great folding. When we arrived at the old old spot there was ice on the banks of the mighty Columbia river and a definite chill to the air. The blocks were set, and lookin good, and we settled in for a prime day. Before the sun came up ducks were flying over our head in huge flocks and the action was nonstop. Fred G folded first. The nice Greenie you see here was the first duck for the team in a long time and it sure felt good to be back in the hunt.

I folded next. You will not see a picture of the fat Pintail I shot that day because of my jealous team member. I gave him the camera but strangely enough the picture didn't turn out. I think that poor camera skills only go so far to explain why there was no picture. The only explaination I have is that my Pintail was so fat it overloaded the cameras little brain. In any event, enjoy this picture of a dead Greenie and remember that cold icy weather never keeps this team down.

GBCH.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

Portland is a lot like a cat when it snows.

A cat acts like it has never seen snow before.
If you put a cat in the snow it becomes paralyzed.
Cats have no idea how to get out of the snow.

Man, the Rose City is a funny place to live.

Snowman?.....DEAD!

Day 19 & 20

Yep. That about sums it up. Sitting in the water.

Sitting in the water is no fun.
Even when you got a gun.
Sitting in the water is not great.
There's no food for my plate.
Sitting in the water makes me sad.
These two hunting days were real bad.

Poetry is my life.

The best spot ever?

One day the HOY7 hutning team was invited out to Denver CO. to hunt with the legendary Jiggitty Jeff. We traveled to many places on that trip but one stood out from the rest by a long shot. Strangely enough that spot was not in the prarie or brush lands of northern CO. and not anywhere along the front range. That spot was near the intersection of 58th and Federal close to downtown Denver.

Take a good look at this picturesque waterski lake in a gated suburb spot. For Hestons sake, there were train tracks right behind us and a McDonalds on the other side of the hill. Even with the noise ordinence we still folded more ducks that day than any other since and some fat geese too. What the hell?

Now I don't like to complain but where are all the 'Pacific Flyway' ducks at these days? Has global warming sentanced us to years of Fred G. being the expert with a total of 3 ducks? Are we destined to learn the delicate art of skyblasting in order to fold some ducks? Where are the Arctic air masses, the freezing tempatures, the snow? WHERE ARE MY DUCKS?

I feel better now. Thanks for your time.
GBCH

Day 19

Day 19 was very interesting and provided a new look for an old spot. Todays picture shows what happens when you walked out to a spot that used to be dry as a bone. Notice that Fred G is surrounded by water in this photo. It seems that the water in the river is affected by not only the massive quantities of rainfall that we get but also the influences of the tide as well. When this happens it changes everything.

Let's say that you had a hole in the ass section of your waders. With the water up that high you may have to sit IN the water and that would allow the water to penetrate in all the wrong places. Bummer. Water so high precludes the use of the roto because it is difficult to get it far enough out to work. And something as simple as droping the wikki cap may cause a minor disaster. Fortunately we here at the HOY7 hunting team are consumate experts at what we do. All disasters were diverted.

Unfortunately, all ducks were diverted too.
GBCH

If only we could predict this stuff somehow.

Tides are the periodic rise and falling of large bodies of water. Winds and currents move the surface water causing waves. The gravitational attraction of the moon causes the oceans to bulge out in the direction of the moon. Another bulge occurs on the opposite side, since the Earth is also being pulled toward the moon (and away from the water on the far side). Ocean levels fluctuate daily as the sun, moon and earth interact. As the moon travels around the earth and as they, together, travel around the sun, the combined gravitational forces cause the world's oceans to rise and fall. Since the earth is rotating while this is happening, two tides occur each day

Place your bets!

What could have caused this amazing transformation?

* Nerve Gas

* Boredom

* Chloroform

* A great lunch

* Wikki

The history of Jenny X. part XII

This installment of the history of Jenny X deals with expertise. The man you see here is Jenny X. And this is Ruger his dog. Jenny prepares food for a living and his dog likely just scratches himself and poops in the yard. Neither of them is a furnace repairman. If you were a furnace repairman it is not likely you would use a sawsall to fix your furnace. Remember, it's all about expertise.

With that being said we here at the HOY7 hunting team would like to wish Jenny good luck with the repair and enjoy the new furnace that is likely in your future.

GBCH

Day 18

What a day it was.
Day 18 started the new year with the end of a new spot. We here at the HOY7 hunting team have decided that we have likely seen the last of Twin Falls. The view sure is pretty and the walk is fantastic but the folding potential is not what it should be. From now on it's the old old spot or something like it for us.

This morning it was, what we here in the great Pacific Northwest like to call, rainy. To give you some idea of how rainy it was here's some examples. Freds hunting umbrella was breeched by the sheer volume of rain we had. My waterproof gloves were soaked. The shoreline got closer as we sat there. A duck tried to fly under the hunting umbrellas in order to stay dry with us. I believe Carl Spackler would have declared that the 'heavy stuff' was in fact coming down.

Being the dedicated hunters we are we stayed untill it was apparent that even the ducks did not want to fly in this type of downpour. We packed up the blocks, pulled up the blind and headed for home. The rain immediately cleared. Don't fear for us though, for tomorrow we kill.

GBCH

Huh?

I think I have been spending too much time at this place. I know the holiday is the time for people to be buying lots of stuff I sell but come on, don't you think this would be better if it was a picture of me holding a duck by its dead neck? I think so too. As a remedy for this sad situation there are two possible solutions.

1. Every reader sends me $1000 so I can quit my job and hunt full time. Considering the multitude of readers I could expect to haul in millions. Lots of folding = lots of new posts.

2. 100 million dollar powerball jackpot. I got my ticket, how can this be taking so long?

Well that's it. Which would you rather see, more pictures of this place or more pictures of the great outdoors? The HOY7 hunting team is just like a charity. Tax deductable and ready to help. Send your money today.