Less than a month away.

Three golfers are killed in a car crash and, having mostly behaved themselves in life, they go straight to heaven.

When they arrive, St. Peter greets them at the gate and says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't hit the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and, to their great joy, discover that it is one enormous golf course -- but there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible to play without hitting one. Sure enough, though they do their best to avoid it, one of the men eventually hits a duck. Poof! St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, appears with the ugliest woman the men have ever seen. St. Peter handcuffs this woman to the unfortunate golfer and says, "Your punishment is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman."

The very next day, the second man accidentally hits a duck. Poof! St. Peter arrives, and with him is another unbelievably ugly woman. He handcuffs the two together and sentences the man to remain chained to her for all eternity.

The third man is determined not to end up like his buddies, so he is extremely careful. He manages to golf for months without mishap. And one day, Poof! St. Peter appears with an absolutely gorgeous woman. He chains the two together without a word and vanishes. The man stares at this goddess, this vision of perfection with whom he will now spend eternity, and says, "Whatever did I do to deserve you?" The woman says, "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."

Still in the 'Brother Zone'

Many would say this is a big air.
Some would say this is a huge air.
I say "Check out those pants".

More from the 'Brother Zone'

Style.
Finesse.
Control.
How is it that this guy can't break 100?
Perhaps he should look down.

The smartest men EVER?

Behold two of the smartest men ever.
Good looks, style and good ole fashioned book learnin'. Can you doubt the level of sophistication here?
Join me for an exploration into the what I like to call....
"The Brother Zone".

Intellect?

I'll be happy to see one of them.
Guess.

More defamation coming soon.

Still the champs!

Playing as visitors for the first time this season, the Giants continued their remarkable success away from Giants Stadium with a resounding 41-13 rout of the St. Louis Rams Sunday in the Edward Jones Dome. The Giants scored 21 unanswered points in the final 7:18 to break open a close game and secure their most one-sided road victory in a dozen years (35-7 at Detroit on Oct. 27, 1996).

Pop Quiz

Back in 1986 I, Robert DaFolder, met some very unsavory characters. All of the people pictured here are attendees of the Institution of Less than Higher Learning of Green Mountain College. They all share many things in common but the one that draws them all together in a week or so is that they all know the man known as "The Brother".

Now some of you have heard of the Brother. Some of you may even know the Brother personally. But one thing that should come as a shock to everyone is that the Brother is getting married. Yes, married.

If you were to ask all the men pictured here about the Brother I'm sure they all would have a story or two to tell. Some of them touching, some of them funny, some of them debaucherous, and perhaps most of them downright scary. But the one thing that would tie them together is the Brother always stood by them, and we all stood by the Brother.

Shortly I will be flying out to the tiny hamlet of Block Island to witness the marriage of the Brother to a potentially un-suspecting young lady named Kira. She seems like a fine woman and I'm sure she comes equipped with a big heart and healthy appreciation for good times. And while the goal of the Brother is to make an honest woman of this lady, mine is somewhat different.

This brings us to today's pop quiz.

Picture #1
Jenny X. Many of you have read about the Legend of Jenny X right here in the pages of this very Blog. The marksman, the trap champ, the inventor of the polo shirt, the bass fishing champ and the first skier to be classified as 'extreme'.

Picture #2
Ned 'Hocker Lock' Flemke. Ned has the dubious distinction of TWICE semi-committing to come out and hunt with the world renown HOY7 hunting team, and never followed through. Newly free from an oppressive marriage and the owner of a pair of skis that makes him able to ski powder without having the skills, Ned is a force not only on the golf course but also the pool table.

Picture # 3
Bubba 'Bubstien' Quehl. As we all know from the pages of this Blog, Don't be like Bubba Quehl.

Picture #4
Al 'Jalikakick' Stewart. Al and I have been separated for far too long so the only thing I have to say is....... "Shut Up, No;... Shut Up, Shut the fuck Up" followed by a loud whistle. The last words I coherently remember Al saying before I passed out in the ditch.

So anyway,
Today's Pop Quiz.

How many of these losers will I crush next week?

Please answer in the comment section below along with your name. Remember there will be a prize for the correct answer. It will be substantial.

GBCH

Know thy enemy

Latin: Anas carolinensis & Anas crecca

Average length: M 14.7", F 14"

Average weight: M 0.7 lbs., F 0.6 lbs.
Description: Green-winged teal are the smallest of our North American ducks with a short neck and small bill. Male green-winged teal have a chestnut head with an iridescent green to purple patch extending from the eyes to the nape of the neck. The chest is pinkish-brown with black speckles, and the back, sides, and flanks are vermiculated gray, separated from the chest by a white bar. The wing coverts are brownish-gray with a green speculum. The bill is dark slate and the legs and feet are dark gray. Male has a distinctive high-pitched "preep-preep." Female green-winged teal are mottled brown with a dark brown line that extends from the bill through the eye. The bill is dark gray and the legs and feet are olive-gray to brownish-gray. Relatively silent but has a sharp, high "quack" when flushed.

Good advice

y Wade Bourne, from Ducks Unlimited Magazine July / August 2003 Issue

The overgrown boat trail led to who-knows-where, but I was determined to find out.

I nosed my boat into the small opening in the reeds. It was barely wide enough to slide through. The ditch ran straight into the cover some 30 yards, then it took a curving bend to the right. I jockeyed the throttle on my Go-Devil motor, powering over the shallow muck and decaying vegetation. Sawgrass fronds grew over the trail and brushed at my face and cap as I ran beneath them.

I plowed deeper into the cover—a hundred yards, then two hundred. The farther I went, the greater my anxiety became. If the trail dead-ended, I'd be in a jam. I'd have to push-pole my boat out backwards. There had been no place to turn it around. Still, I was resolute to motor as far as I could to see where the trail led.

Suddenly it opened into a pothole about a half-acre in size, and there was no blind on it. I was elated. This spot was open to whichever hunter got here first. I'd watched ducks work this area for several seasons. Now, when opening day arrived, I'd have another option for tossing out some decoys and trying to pull in a few birds.

I love scouting for new spots. It's almost as much fun as actually hunting (but not quite). Scouting is like looking for treasure and anticipating the pleasures it could bring.

More to the point, I scout both before the season for new places and during the season to learn where ducks are working. I call this long-term and short-term scouting, and this reconnaissance is crucial to my hunting success. If the duck supply dries up in a given area, I can usually find a fresh one somewhere else and move there in short order.

Hunters who would enjoy some new scenery, who are tired of empty skies, or who are frustrated by competition on crowded public areas should take matters into their own hands. They should resolve to uncover several new spots before the season opens. By changing their landscape, they might change their luck. They should also scout continuously while hunting is going on to stay in the action. Hunters who move when the birds do enjoy more consistent gunning.

Don't forget

Regular season starts this Thursday