Happy New Year

Day 17

Well, see, I wasn't there.
I also don't have a photo to go with todays entry. One was sent to me but likely only to let me know how great it was without me there. I deleted the photo due to my pain at not being able to attend what surely was one of the best days ever (but I inserted one to show how I must look to them). Along with the photo I received a message which I will now share with you even through my sorrow of repeating it.

"Bob, AWESOME day without you today. The ducks were flying almost as fast as the steel death from above. We never see that many ducks when you are there. Cliffy and I each got our limit and then we shot your limit too. We laughed at the sheer ease of folding today, it's like they wanted to die. Some of the ducks tried to land right IN our blind. Man, did you miss it.

"We had a lunch of hot paninni sammys and some fresh creme brûlée for desert topped with Gran Mariner. Boy, you would have ruinied it for sure. The way Cliffy tells stories is only outshined by his folding skills. Even the walk in seemed easy. We got a ride out from the warden who turned us on to some secret hunting spots close by. Sadly he said that only great hunters like us can go there, you'll never see them, sorry.

"Anyway, we decided that you can't come out with us anymore. The sheer weight of you bringing us down is more than we can bear. Maybe you can go hunting at Sauvies and make some new friends. If you learn how to 'skyblast' perhaps even you can get some ducks, likely not though. Well good luck old friend."

"Oh yea, by the way we shot only fat banded greenies. You suck looser."

Guest editor.

HA! It is I Greenie.

Merry Christmas bitches. I have taken a picture of myself, since YOU will never catch me, and put it on an ornament for your stupid Charlie Brown like tree. This way you will be reminded of of my superior abilities of avoiding your poor shooting while you look at my beautiful face. Enjoy your eggnog and Christmas goose while I get bigger and fatter than ever before. I am Greenie and I rule!

By the way what you did to my cousin Jean-Pierre was not cool, not cool at all.

The trust issue.

Would you trust these two smart looking men with your safety? Apparently neither N. Flemke or J. Jeff do. Don't be afraid to spend some time with the HOY7 hunting team. You have nothing to lose but brain cells and self respect. Let the highly trained and board certified instructors of the HOY7 hunting team show you how to fold.

Remember, we are the Best!
GBCH

Day 16

It's really all about dedication.

Day sixteen was the kind of morning that makes the heart beat a little faster. Nice and cold the night before, clear skies in the morning and frozen ground under our feet on the walk out. Our other regular monday morning team members Rick & Clyde had other plans this time so it was just the two of us on this promising day. We loaded up and started the walk out to the old old spot on the banks of the mighty Columbia river. Even the fact that other hunters had badly modified our blind and left their trash behind was not enough to dampen our good feelings about the perfect weather and beautiful view.

The ducks were flying today and amid the many passes and exciting landings a big fat greenie was folded. Todays picture shows Fred G way way out there in the water searching for his green headed prize.(click on the photo to see how far out) Sometimes though, the prize will not be won. Sadly the greenie we call Re-run will feed the foxes rather than the humans. Now I titled this post with "It's really all about dedication" for a reason. Some people might just shrug off the responsibility of getting their duck if it meant water over the waders or a long slog through the brush. Some people might only try once to get their duck and not go back through all the hassle to look again. Not here on the HOY7 hunting team. Are we the best hunters ever? Yes we are. But we are also the most dedicated hunters as well. Nothing stops us from our Heston given right to fold. (Except but not limited to: work, sleep, lack of wikki, occasional stomach upset, hangovers, bad planning, high water, asthma, mud, bad planning, schedule conflicts, being the last in line, the North unit, summertime, and of course, bad planning.)

Some people may say that coming home with no ducks was a waste of a perfectly good day. But not here at the HOY7 hunting team. See, it's about dedication. Did you see the sun rise over snow capped mountains this morning? Did you watch 8 mallards turn and fly perfectly into your blocks? Did you see hawks, herons, brandts, pintails, divers and the militarys secret new stealth jet boat today? I didn't think so. So remember, We Are The Best!
GBCH.

In Search Of

Thanks for the props Bob, yea the greenie was huge and for sure it was banded, but for Heston sake I gave it the H7HT try, if only Clyde were there he would of had his first taste of success. It was a fine day for sure, most memorable.

Here is an impressionistic painting I did of Bob on that fine hunting day. Oil on canvass.

Guest editor.

HA! It is I Greenie and I'm back!

Listen to me looser bitches, I have come back to taunt you and show you the ways in which you are stupid. First you try to kill me with your puny Italian guns and your lame 3 1/2" shells but you only took down my younger brother Jacque. He was not the strongest of my fine family and although we will miss him he did not die in vain. I hope when you ate him he gave you excruciating gas and pain and discomfort due to occasional stomach upset.

Now you use your "hunting umbrellas" that I can see from a mile away. Great idea. What's next, heated chairs and a TV? I will never let you get me stupid hunters. I am Greenie and I quack in your general direction.

P.S. nice dog you have there, has he ever even smelled a duck ?

Expertise

Ever get the feeling sometimes when you wake in the morning that nothing could or can go wrong? Day 15. Well being off the liquid codeine a.k.a PROMETH/COD my mind was as clear as a Tuesday on a warm summer day here in Portland in August. Time for me to make a decision, so the night before at 11 pm we decided to go to Twin Falls, an easy walk and an easy half day hunt, whikey? only a 1/4 bottle needed. When I awoke there was no rain and no wind, Old Old Spot! Twin Falls never produced anything positive. I'm not afraid of a 30 minute hike, for god sake it's part of my diet. Bob picks me up at a decent time of 6am and the first words out of my mouth are "Bob Old Old Spot Now!!!" We arrive at the Old Old spot...no rain, great song by Blind Melon, and warm, an easy walk or hike which ever. After a beautiful morning of some good flight, blocks & and blind looked awesome, and a single pass shot, nothing. But it was way better than Twin Falls, plus I learned no matter what the day holds for you always bring a big boy bottle of whikey cause you never know when it may go off. That was day 15. We await news from Colorado anticipating a local Denver Bean joining us on some local slaying. There lays some good wholesome stories.

note: picture may not coincide with story

Art By Fred G

Clyde 2006

oil on canvas

An Advertisement

Before & After

After a very strict diet of only Jamesons Whiskey, Beef Jerky and Hiking in the woods Fred G lost an amazing 10 sizes, you can too by just following that very easy diet of Jameson Whiskey, Beef Jerky and Hiking in the woods, here is Fred G to tell you all how he did it! "Fred G here, it's true I drank Jameson Whiskey, ate Beef Jerky and Hiked in the woods. I went from "Big Guy" size to 2 XL in only 14 weeks." Wow!! you look great Fred G! Write in with your results.



Caution: May cause high blood pressure, heart attack, dry mouth, severe headache, drowsiness, tooth decay, back ache, severe de-hydration, constipation, bad breath , but you may also have small bouts of constant genius.

The hunting umbrella. Poetry of respect.

Oh hunting umbrella how I mocked you in the begining
Your silly features and big profile so out of place
Your dryness and coverage are features so winning
I had no choice but to realize your grace

Then today out of nowhere another great advance

The inventer himself suddenly makes clear

Sticking the handle right into his pants

Hands free I tell you, he can drink with no fear

Oh hunting umbrella one can only guess

The next step in your evolutionary development

Your abilitys in keeping us out of the mess

Keep me on the edge of mental envelopment

Day 14

Welcome to the New Guy.

Today the HOY7 hunting Team got a new member in the form of a chocolate retrieving machine. This is Clyde. After some careful thought Rick decided that we would not shoot his dog by accident and brought Clyde along for the ride that is the HOY7 hunting team expierence. He seemed to make the walk out to the old old spot without any complaints and made himself right at home in the rainy but mild confines of the blind. After some time familiarizing himself with the procedures he settled into a routine of wondering why we brought him in the first place. As Clyde looked to the skies for all the downed ducks he had heard so much about I can't help but wonder if he thinks we are the best. You see, we KNOW we are the best but sometimes the workings of the dog brain are beyond even our stellar abilities to figure.

Clyde did get to take a walk around with each team member where he showed his ability to be a 'Good Dog'. I think we all agree that Clyde is welcome on any H7HT excursion, ducks or not. At the end of the day he even helped pull in the blocks without a single complaint. In fact he seemed to enjoy the whole day even though the reward of a live duck retrieve was not in the cards. Don't worry Clyde, next time we will fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

(Note to all you PETA members that read this blog on a regular basis. This photo does not represent Clydes diet for the day. Not only is it immoral to give your dog some tasty, delicious, ohhh so good, nectar-like, wonderful wikki it is also not good for the retrieving skills. Don't think he didn't want to, he is a member of the HOY7 hunting team, but his attempt at stealing Freds was foiled. Dogs can't operate screw caps. Sorry boy.)

The history of Jenny X. part XI

It's been a long time since you have heard an update on the history of Jenny X. Today is a banner day at the ole HOY7 hunting team blog because we now have some photographic proof that Jenny is on the move again. All I have for information is that his new dog has the name of Ruger, so I'll make up the rest.

"Today Paula and I went to pick up our new puppy Ruger. We paid $7,777 for the right to put a purebred golden retriever puppy in our New Hampshire estate in the charming hamlet of Jennyville. (Named for me because of my total dominance of all things killin'.) Not only does our new retriever have the papers to prove he is a duck retrieving machine but he is also capable of pooping on those papers and looking great at the same time. When we first took him home he immediately brought me my slippers and a copy of the New York Times while I smoked my pipe and sat in my Heffner-like bathrobe. Good dog! We love him more than the Brother and Bubba Kuehl combined.

Next week his training begins. Paula shoots 3 1/2" shells over my head and I throw fresh greenies into the neighbors yard where young Ruger is expected to go and get them. I have confidence that he will properly retrieve the greenie and not their cat. Soon enough he will be in the Cabellas catalouge (take that Harley) and chillin' with the local bitches.

Yep, it's going to be easy being Ruger, if only he could be as cool as his Puppy Daddy."

Well there you have it, another reason why it is soooooooo good to be Jenny X.
GBCH

P.S. check out Jennys hat. If you pay attention to the history of Jenny X you will notice that Jenny has the same dumb-ass hat in every wintertime blog post you see. Good thing he saves his riches for the important things in life, like a nice two footer.

Welcome New Readers

Day 13

Day thirteen. It all started with good intentions.
I picked up Fred at the usual time of 4:44 but something was wrong. The time pased and I realized that I was the only one still in the truck at 4:54. Fred had decided to sleep upstairs as to not wake up his significant other with his early morning alarm (and sleep apnia) but seemed to miss out on the actual waking up part of the plan. Instead it was I who woke her up with my banging at the door, sorry Kathy.

Finally we were off to meet Rick at the parking lot and head off to 'Poker chip' on Sauvies for some good ole fashion folding action. Just about to the onramp Fred congratulated himself for not forgetting his gun but we soon realized that he had, in fact, forgotten Ricks gun in the ealy morning haze he was still in. After a slight detour (in which I hit almost all the green lights) we finally met Rick and were off to the 'wait in line' area of Sauvies due to the fact that it starts 30 minutes later than 'Poker chip'. We scored Mudhen unit #7

After our arrival at Mudhen 7 we were greeted by almost a whole puddle in which to set up our blocks and get ready for fly time. That's when IT HAPPENED. The photo shows the culmination of bad luck to rain on Fred G that day. First the jacket fell in the mud. Then the capper, the ole' wikki in the mud trick. So far it's not looking good and the sun still hasn't come up yet.

That seemed to set the tone for the day as we waited patiently for the ducks to come swarming in to our massive 30 square foot death zone. Sure we took a couple shots but nothing wanted to die that day. Not even an out of season pintail was willing to take one for the team. The sandwiches were good and the peanut butter cups were nice but that was the extent of our luck. By the end Rick got a nice nap and we were home in time to catch Oprahs show on men who hunt and the ducks that hate them.

Don't fear, day 14 is going to be great.
GBCH

We have a reader!

Look at that little bundle of happiness in the center of this old photo. Today that is the woman who goes by the name of "Mom". That's right, my very own mother is now a reader of the HOY7 hunting team blog. It's good to know that even old people can figure out what the real purpose of the 'interweb' is. Of course I may have to curtail the use of profanity and risqué subject matter in my normal postings in order to keep my good standing in the 'Perfect son club' going strong. That's going to be difficult and really suck ass..... Oh shit! I used a..... Crap I.... Oh well.

Anyway, welcome to the blog Mom. First the microwave and now the computer. What's next, DVDs?

The old old spot.

The old old spot. Greenies and money.

Sauvies Island is a joke. I thought since it has been a while between visits that the action at Sauvies would be going full bore. Boy was I wrong. I should always listen to 'The Expert" when it comes to things hunting. First I thought that hunting with an umbrella was lame: WRONG. Then I thought that the old old spot was lame: WRONG. then I thought that Sauvies would be great: WRONG AGAIN. I can only wonder what I may learn next week from this master of hunting, this Sensi, this oracle of wisdom that never seems to tire of being the smartest hunter ever.

Anyway, the picture tells the story here. last week a big greenie and the elusive $5 prize. This week nothing and no prize.

What Is Not Used To Hunt Ducks?

A. B.
C. D.

Murder is the case that they gave me.

After some indecisiveness we decided on the old old spot for a change this past week. As we walked out it became apparent that someone had done a little grooming to the pricker bushes and ground cover. The walk out was almost an enjoyable one. We arrived on schedule for a leisurely set up and made the best of our old blind. Keep in mind that we had abandoned the old old spot for some time due to the fact that we never see ducks there and the last time we visited the water was over our heads. What a difference a year makes.

Action was off the hook (for the old old spot) and our shooting skills were infallable (when the safety was off) and we folded three dangerous birds. I shot the greenie and the pintail and Fred made a bloddy mess out of that guy on the left. I guess we taught those punks not to mess with us again. After a nice long nap and a delicious tuna sandwhich it was back to the hizzo and a tasty duck dinner.

We learned something today.
Our first spot is still the best spot.

When?

Getting mouthy?

The word on the street is that Jiggitty Jeff may be making a visit to do some killin' with his old team members. I can only hope that we are up to the challenge.
GBCH

Crazy Andy, where is he now?

Hi,
I clinched my teeth as the 60 pound backpack strapped to my back clipped a sideview mirror and the driver screamed at us, but neither my moto-scooter driver or I looked back. I held on tigher as we hopped onto the curb and sped along the sidewalk before jumping back into a clearing in the traffic. We weaved thru manic kampala traffic while dust glaring in the headlight and noxious diesel fumes permeated my clothes and lungs. Driving north in a minivan the next day felt a little safer, whenever we weren't playing chicken with other vehicles attempting to avoid massive potholes.

Steve Willis, the british owner of a camp/lodge where I stayed up in Murchinson Falls National Park was killed last year by rebels while attempting to rescue a international expedition rafting the entire Nile. His widow is now running the lodge.

The Nile River empties near Cairo, but here in the heart of Africa the Victoria Nile weaves it's way from Lake Victoria, over the Murchinson Falls, into lake Albert, before turning back north thru the Sudan, as the White Nile. There the White and Blue Nile combine in Khartoum to form the Nile.

The animals in Murchinson were decimated during the civil war, but now they are protected and are rebounding surprisingly well. Giraffes, elephants, hippos, water buffelow are all common....and we even saw a lion which is harder to see. At night, thru the canvas walls of the tent, I heard the massive hippos chomping grass and stomping thru camp before making the 3 1/2 mile return trip to lake Albert before dawn.

Back south again, in Jinga, where Lake Victoria pours into the Nile, I have taken advantage of a series of class 5 rapids. It is considered some of the best rafting in the world and we managed to flip a couple of times! But falling into the warm water was nice and floating by local fishermen in basic canoes added to the beautiful scenery.

But, even better was going for a run last night, on the dirt roads out in the rural country where I was constantly stopped by young children with tattered clothes on their back as they ran out to greet me and hold my hand for a few minutes.

I'm off to Mt. Elgon, which straddles the border of Uganda and Kenya. in 3 or 4 days, I will return to Mbale, Uganda and travel by bus to Kenya where I fly to Cairo and then home in about a week.

I hope everyone is well.
Sincerely,
andy

Cold Hard Cash

Behold the somewhat somber face of
Honest Abe. This very piece of good ole American currency came to me today by way of one very dead greenie.

Finally after days of tempting fate, Mr. Greenhead flew by the wrong Benelli totin' folding machine. I gave him about 3 1/2 inches of steel death from a respectable distance of 20 yards or so. After a sucessfull retrieve I came back to the blind to find this finski stuck on a branch just for me. It's been a long time coming, but it sure was worth it.

Day 11

Ahhhhhhhh, the first day after Thanksgiving. That can only mean one thing: turkey sandwich. Thanks Fred G for making the tradition stick. Not only was there horseradish on the sammy but I bet my last dollar that there was some salt too. Add some processed pre-shaped potaoto like chips and you're ready to fold.

WHAT THE HELL ?

Bob here,
Just wanted to share with all my fellow out of state team members a story of how I find humor in the Portland area. As I was watching the news on FRIDAY evening I had to laugh as this is what LED the braodcast.

"Potential snow storm Sunday evening into Monday morning"

keep in mind this was the POTENTIAL for snow 3 days into the future. Better shut down the city now just in case. It has subsequently been in the news every night since. Likely, if there is any snow, it will be called "Blizzard 2006" or something like that. Round the clock coverage will begin as the first flake of snow falls from the sky. Geeze.

From the KATU news desk: Updated 11/26/2006 6:00 pm
Snow showers will continue tonight and tomorrow for areas of the Columbia River Gorge from Cascade Locks east as cold air stays entrenched there. A snow advisory is posted for 1-6 more inches of snow in the next 24 hours.

Modified arctic air is moving into Northwest Oregon and Southwest Washington tonight. The snow level here in the metro area will drop to the higher hills above 500 feet. Expect about one inch of snow overnight... sticking mainly in the hills. Tomorrow, the snow level will hover at 500 feet.. as 1 to 3 inches is possible. Highs will be near 39 in Portland/Vancouver.

The Cascades Range is under a Winter Storm Warning tonight and tomorrow with another foot of snow possible.

Out of practice? (Day 10)

Day ten was a reminder why you need to keep pace with the HOY7 hunting team.

Today we were joined by founding member and resident 2nd place killing machine "Cliffy" V. We set out early on Thanksgiving day to secure our spot at the legendary twin falls location on the mighty Columbia river. We arrived to the parking lot alone and in sole posession of the best spot possible. After a harrowing 2 minute walk we made it to the water and started the decoy setting and blind building process. With those tasks complete we were able to enjoy some time to sit and reflect on the days folding potential as there was still 30 - 45 minutes before sunrise.

Not long into the days events the picture above was taken. It shows Cliffy in a sad display of what happens when you come illprepared for a H7HT outing. Out of wikki and out of treats. Fortunately his teamates were able to keep the machine going with some smooth 12 year wikki and delicious smokes. The day was saved.

Although we saw few ducks today and were only able to take a shot at a rebel decoy trying to escape, Cliffy learned something. Hunting umbrellas are quite possibly the finest invention to come out of Fred Gs' massive head. I like to think he will also be better prepared for our next outing as well. There you have it, every day a new lesson.

GBCH

T-Day Poetry

Stuffing and mashers are the best
Cranberry and sweet potatoes make up the rest

Sometimes a turkey is not on the tray
When a goose gets shot on thanksgiving day

A pumpkin pie and cookies too
I'm gunna kill a goose, how about you?

Day 9

Day nine was cold, wet and lame.
Nothing was learned.
Nothing was killed.
GBCH

Day ten is going to be GREAT!

If you see me, shoot me.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Day 8

Day eight and once again we were joined by the newest HOY7 hunting team member Rick. Feeling good about our superior early morning skills we proceded to Sauvies island for the 'wait in line' section of the island. We weren't even that far back in the line but we ended up missing the cut by one truck length. After weighing our options we decide on the ever popular North Unit, and what a trememdous decision it was.

The naps and sandwhiches were great.

We made it back to the sign in shack in time to get the Mudhen # 9 unit for the mid-morning hunt. Our friendly ranger (look at that haircut, anybody with a haircut like that you know he's an asshole) told us that our chances of shooting our limit that day were about nada. He was correct. The tremendous windstorm we had here for the previous two days must have blown all the ducks to Umatilla.

We learned something that day.
Rick should always make lunch.
Waking up at 3:00 may be better than 4:00
The North Unit RULES, just ask Stevearino.

GBCH

Crazy Andy, hutning with a camera.

Hi,
Well it only took 30 hours in a bus seat, 15 hours of flying, 5 monetary currencies, and 3 continents, but I was able to climb up the bottom slopes of an old volcano (15,000 feet), thru a lush rain forest to visit 16 gorillas for an hour......it was really amazing. This is the place that Dian Fossy died trying to protect the gorillas and her grave is on the mountain. The park only recently re-opened several years ago after a brutal civil war and genocide.

As I was sitting taking video of a gorilla, something hit my shoulder and almost rolled into my lap...a little gorilla...I don't know who was more scared.

Now I'm back in Kigali, the capitol of Rwanda, and staying in a nice hotel.....well, the room is an extension of the nice hotel....I get the beautiful breakfast buffet, but stay across the street for a bargain rate of 18 bucks a night...Kigali is not cheap.

I hadn't fully read my guide book and missed the section that stated "feel lucky if you get running water in this class of hotel"....well it wasn't my lucky day...or lucky 3 days. When I tried to flush the toilet in the shared bathroom...mosquitoes flew from the stagnant water in the bowl above the toilet.

But, the breakfast buffet is really nice and the hotel staff bring a warm bucket of water to bath with in the morning and the toilets in the main hotel are very nice.

Sincerely,
Andy

Facts

Eyes
Ducks can see for a very long way thanks to their very sharp vision. They can also see almost 360 degrees as their eyes are on either side of their heads. The only problem is that they don't have effective tear ducts which is why they need water to regularly clean and moisten their eyes.

Bill
A duck's bill is a triumph of evolutionary tool making. They are designed for scooping up water and rootling around for insects and other tasty morsels in the ground. The nostrils are located near the head end of their bill allowing them to find food in water without having to hold their breath. The top half of the duck's bill, called the 'upper mandible', is an extension of the skull and is fixed in place. Only the lower mandible is hinged and it does all the moving. The bill is covered in a layer of Keratin which is continually being worn down and regrown.

Feet
Along with the bill, a duck's feet are its most characteristic symbol. The webbing between their toes is a form of subaqua turbocharger which makes high speed swimming a doddle but is also ideal for paddling around in water. Although their feet look soft, be careful when handing your duck, as they have small nails on the end of their toes.

Feathers
Even up close the feathers on a duck seem to be one seemless blanket, each one overlapping and linking in to create a smooth, streamlined surface. They keep their feathers looking smart by regularly preening themselves. During this preening the bill rubs oil from a gland at the base of their tail. They then use the bill to coat their feathers with a fine layer of oil to make themselves waterproof. Ducklings get this oil from their mother until they have developed their own feathers. Ducks also have different layers of feathers making them able to cope with all sorts of conditions. Under the outer feathers they have a thick layer of fine down which insulates them and allows them to swim around all day on cold water.

Tail
The tail is often a good indicator of the sex of a duck. If you see couple of small curly feathers in its tail then it is likely that it is a mature male.
WingsMost ducks have a range of features which allow them to fly high and over long distances. They have aerodynamic body shapes and are able to tuck their feet in to further streamline their appearance. Unlike chickens their wings are strong and have large, well developed flight feathers.

Guest editor

HA! I am Greenie and I rule.

Here it is over a month into the season and still I am worth $10. That is because you ignorant hunters do not have the skill and fortitude to take me out of the sky. Your worthless Italian guns and pitiful attempt at concealment are no match for my walnut sized brain. I will evade your 3 1/2" shells like they contain nothing more than rice crispys and fly past you so fast you can not even see me. Good luck getting that 10 spot, loser bitches.

I quack in your general direction.

Two men go duck hunting. They settle down in their hide and start waiting for the ducks. This gets rapidly boring for one of them so he reaches into his backpack and withdraws a bottle of 100 proof scotch. "Want some?" he asks his mate.
"No, I've got to concentrate on hunting ducks."
"Okay..." he says and happily drains the bottle.

They go back to watching for ducks. Again, the man gets bored and gets from his backpack another bottle of scotch. "Want some." he asks again.
"No, thanks" is his reply
"Your loss." he says and happily drains the bottle.

He's pretty sloshed by now, but goes back to help his friend watch for ducks. A minute later, a single duck flies up. "Bang!!!" goes his mates gun. "Damn, missed" his mate says.
The man waves his gun in the general direction of the sky. "Bang!!!" his gun goes.
He kills the duck straight.
"Wow," says his mate, "how did you do that?"
"Well," he replied, "when there's a whole flock, you can hardly miss, can you?"

Genius or Pansy ?

The Hunting Umbrella.

You be the judge.

Vote in the comment section.

GBCH

Showin' out for the team.

As you may or may not have heard, Mt Hood Meadows has suffered a major blow to the ski season. Our nonstop "pinapple express" weather pattern has left us drenched with warm rain this fall. Not only is it not snowing it also has rained in such Hestonesque proportions that it has damaged the roads to the ski area. One bridge to the area is likely dammaged. DOT officials can not make a realistic estimate for its repair due to the 5 feet of rocks and mud jammed under, on and around the bridges structure. It is basically covered with mountian where it used to be 15 - 20 feet above the water.

The other road to the area sustained a tiny little washout when the swolen creek jumped the road and created a river on both sides. The road is basically gone for a stretch of 8 to 9 miles. (It is actually very impressive how much it has been destroyed, check it out at http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_110806_weather_highway_35_.1ae8805e.html ) The best estimate for any traffic to get to the ski area is sometime around the end of January, to which I say "NO PROBLEM". Hunting season dosen't end untill Jan 28th anyway.

I had my pass photo, seen above, taken well before any indication of these events. As you can see I am hypeing the HOY7 hunting team above all else. Coincidence?..... I think not!

Is it time?

Day Seven

Day Seven is always an important day for the HOY7 Hunting Team. Today I will let the picture speak for itself. There is only one problem with the picture. The rainbow should actually be shining directly from Freds' ass, that's the kind of day he had.

Sometimes it's not good enough to be the 'expert', you also need to be the best. Now I know as well as you do that the HOY7 hunting team is the best team out there but every team has its outstanding member. Not only did he finish all his wikki, not only did he enjoy three whole smokie treats, and not only did he invent the next great hunting accessory, the man also folded the most beautiful duck on the planet. Sometimes the sun is shining on you and sometimes the whole damn rainbow is shining on you. Heston bless you Fred G. I'm just glad to have been able to bask in the shadow of your glory.

Lineage

This is my Grandfather, Clyde McKinley Campbell. He was born in Michigan and moved to Connecticut where he met my Grandmother and got married. There he raised field trials dogs and hunted on a regular basis as all cool Grandfaters did. This picture was taken Thanksgiving day sometime in the 40s out on the family farm in Kent. It appears that he folded a nice fat pheasant that day with some help from his dog, Duncan City Boy.

In 1940 he had the joy of a wonderful baby girl come into his life. This little girl would someday get married to a fine Italian guy and they in turn would have two sons. This is where I come into the picture. A dorky kid from Cheshire. I attended Cheshire High School, where in 1982 I met a troubled asthmatic kid who liked to fight above his ability, Fred G. Much later Fred and I formed the storied and world renowned HOY7 hunting team.

This brings us to day six.

On day six I had great reaction time and folded a duck at the old new spot. It landed in the water and slowly floated away from the point at which I could retrieve it. The wind and tidal influences took the downed duck all the way across the river to an area which I could not get to. After a feeble attempt to cross the river I was thwarted by high water over the giant hole in my waders and my fear of drowning. Dwayne, as we named him, died an unnecessary death.

I told this sad story today because I'm sure my Grandfather would not be pleased with my hunting skills. I learned something today. Don't shoot beyond your ability to get your duck. Always wear the waders without the giant hole. And finally, I need a good dog. Rest in peace Dwayne.

GBCH

Day Six

With a new member in tow we head out to the Old New Spot. It's a balmy 65 degrees at 5 am and the rain is coming down in sheets. As always this morning was filled with anticipation because of a couple of things; how much are we going to fold today, and that we were about to embark on new territory, teaching a friend the art of hunting the Hoy 7 Hunting Team way. We also have a new ear to tell lore to, of past killing sprees and of high school past, I don't know who is more lucky him or us. We hike out, set up and cause now that I have my asthma under control the whiskey bottles crack open. Rick looks at us with disbelief, and Bob sees the dibelief in his eyes and asks the question "do you know what Jenny X is doing right now?" and with that Rick takes a swig. Remember the new territory I spoke of earlier, well it's in full swing now, we are on our way as a team. It's a quiet and wet morning, very wet. Action is none until out of nowhere two ducks come screaming into our deeks (spieces unkown, more on that in a minute) and quick draw Bob folded before I could even get another swig off the old bottle. Well here in the picture tells the whole story. Bob with a stick, duck out in front of him, comes back with only stick in hand, almost first duck of year. Sorry Grampa Clyde. Day ended uneventful, no more shots but a lot more rain. Welcome new team member Rick, good luck .

Fred G Out!

Welcome New Team Member

We would like to welcome our new member, Rick. The only person that said "hey I want to go hunting with you guys" and actually get a license and show up at 4:45 am. Welcome Rick, happy hunting!

INCORRECT FOLDING METHOD

Shotgun Methodology By Fred G.

No, not that kind.

This is a pictoral demonstration of the proper way to do a shotgun.

-Chose an easy drinkin beer like a Budweiser, the king of beers.

-Use your car keys to poke a hole in the bottom side of the can. ( Keep the keys handy so you can drive later)

-Lift the hole in the can to your mouth.

-Pull the trigger.

-Drink the whole thing without spilling any on your two collar shirts or the 'M' watch.

-Belch.

-Repeat.