Tuesday, April 12, 2016

How 'The Expert' Spends His Days....


Dear Cilder,

   Can I call you Bill? My name is Jim Jerry Johnson, most of my friends call me Mountain Man Jim Jerry Johnson though. I have a lot of friends.

    Lets get down to brass tacks. I can snow shoe like no ones business. I'm probably the best in the region, you may of heard of "The Green Flash". That's me. The question isn't am I allowed to snowshoe up the mountain during the Uphill, Downhill, Uphill, Downhill races of 2016, it's if I can Inner-tube down.
I own and can operate my own inner tube. I have the Swimline 30" Candy Transparent Swim Ring. It's pretty high speed if I say so myself. 

The other question I had was I will be in town Friday, Saturday and Sunday this week with my van and my cat King Simon. Do you know of anyone that is willing to let us stay in their driveway?

Thanks Bill,

Jim Jerry Johnson

Hello Mountain Man Jim Jerry Johnson,
Thank you for your interest in our event, the Wardner Peak Uphill Downhill Uphill Downhill, we a honored that you are considering competition.  It sounds like the climbing portion of the course will be to your liking, and snowshoes may well be the fastest means of conveyance to Wardner Peak.
I will now address your question about being able to pilot a “Swimline 30" Candy Transparent Swim Ring” down an extended fall line expert run, through gates, with other competitors, and finishing against a dense tree line.  I had to run it by our legal team and here is what they were able to come up with.
“ Competitors may engage in inner tubing on the decent as long as their inner tube conforms to the rigid standards set forth by the American Alpine Speed Inner Tubing Association of America, henceforth referred to as A.A.S.I.T.A.A.. Your will find their Official Alpine Speed Inner Tubing Personal Racing Inner Tube Guide Lines following:
·         Must have an outside diameter no smaller than 30.5”, and no larger than 37.875”
·         Must be filled to 12 p.s.i at 60 degrees Fahrenheit, with pure O2
·         Must be constructed utilizing a rigid or semi-rigid polyethylene base.
·         Must have a shell of at least 750–denier nylon
·         Must weigh no less than 150 oz.
·         Must have at least one handle featuring at least a 2”x8” graspable area.
·         Must be certified to safely carry adults up to 72” tall and 200lbs (Weight is while fully clothed in a regulation A.A.S.I.T.A.A. approved speed suit, neck limiting ring, and fully enclosed helmet. See rules and regulations for details on pg 178)”
I was relieved to find out that we can accommodate a legend such as yourself in the first annual Wardner Peak Uphill Downhill Uphill Downhill.  Since your tube does not meet the requirements of the Official Alpine Speed Inner Tubing Personal Racing Inner Tube Guide Lines, I have done some research and found an inner tube that meets said requirements. Copy and paste the below link into your browser to see the Sonic Snow Tube , Regular.
In future years we will be adding an official Inner Tubing class to our event, but for the current event we will need you to compete in the “open” category. Additionally there would be a $75 fee to have a A.A.S.I.T.A.A. inspector come to the event from Spokane to certify inflation levels, and indemnify the inner tube for the 2016 calendar year.  It goes without saying that you will also need a A.A.S.I.T.A.A. approved speed suit, neck limiting ring, and fully enclosed helmet. Please let me know if I need to get things in motion with the A.A.S.I.T.A.A..
In regards to your final inquiry, yes, I know someone that would be thrilled to host you and King Simon.  Dolph Hoch, a Silver Mountain Local and all around badass, has a house right on Division St. here in Kellogg.  Just head South on Division and look for a giant white Chevy 2500 that fits the “Badass” profile, feel free to park on the street directly in front of his driveway.
I hope this is helpful for you, please feel free to contact me with any additional questions or concerns.
Best regards,
Clider the Expert
Marketing Coordinator
Silver Mountain Resort
p208.555.1524
c208.555.2406