What Am I?

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Could You Guess?

FTP Is In the House

Dear Sirs or Madame
On October 15 I accidentally shot a Pintail out of season. I thought I had shot a Green Winged Teal. Upon check out I declared 1 Pintail and 1 Green Winged Teal, it is then when I was informed by the warden I had shot two Pintails. It was told to me that at the beginning of the season it is hard to distinguish because the colors are so similar, but what I should look at is the size and not the color, a Teal will be half the size. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely
Fred G. aka Fred the Poacher
Co-Founder of the Hoy 7 Hunting Team

Taking A Big Slice.

Oh gentile readers of the HOY7 hunting team Blog, I must have a big slice. Today I witnessed the most amazing thing since the formation of our team. Bagging a duck has never been less of a catch phrase and more of a literal reality. See the video. Read the account. Believe the impossible. I stand in awe of the greatest duck hunter ever, Fred G.*

*that is of course until next week when I shoot the first Greenie.

Day Two

Remember what I said? "The video, pictures and stories this year will amaze and tantalize you." Well hold onto your hat, and duck. We hit the road not as soon as we wanted, issues with alarm clocks, but we hit it the earliest ever 1 am. We set out in Lisa and quiet ensued. Predictions were none. We were driving into a totally new experience not knowing if our efforts would pay off. We never arrived at Sauvies at 2 in the morning, getting about 6th in line, able to choose any blind we would like. Well it all paid off, like I said we were 6th in line and when we got to the check in station at about 6am we actually had choices of decent blinds, we chose Mudhen 8. The morning weather was perfect a slight overcast and a slight chill, about 42 degrees. I'm sure Bob will have a mention about the walk in his post. We threw out the blocks and being Sauvies the action was fast and furious right off the hop. Not long into it we both fold, the only difference being is that I folded first, we all know what that means by now, don't we? Yes a crisp fresh 10 dollars in my bag. The morning folding kept up. I folded two more ducks in one rally but unfortunately was able to only retrieve one, sorry gram pa Clyde, the reeds out there are fierce sometimes. Bob also folded again at that time. Never in team history have we been so close to each other so early, two folds each. I know what you're saying "Fred G. you folded two in one rally, is that not 3 ducks all day?" You see folks if you can't or don't retrieve it does not count in totals. Lunch was next. Some nice French bread some gabba goul, pruzute, provolone, fresh mutzarella, pickled onions, mama lils peppers, kalamat olives, and marinated rapini (broccoli rabe). I even got "hey this is good" out of Bob. Thanks Bob. After sitting there for a while and being "rained" on by what we suspect is The Black Cloud, the stuff is good and fast, pick up a box at your local outdoor store, we did and we love it! The stuff makes ducks rain. Which brings me to the latter part of the day. Bob has to get home and we call it, "lets give it another hour." Well we did, that's where the video portion comes in. Watch it, I did and it was a mind scramble, speaking of scramble, that's what we were doing ascared for our lives. On our way to check out we were proud. Bob with a beautiful Northern Shoveler and a Pintail. Me with a Pintail and a Green Wing Teal. This parts for you Jiggity. Upon check out I was informed my Teal was not a Teal but another Pintail. In other words Fred The Poacher is back! Only 1 Pintail per person. Box of Black Cloud $17.50, Shooting more than your share of Pintail $150.00, Bagging a duck, literally, PRICELESS.

It's Raining Steel

Fred G. 3

Bob 2

Poetry Moment

"Time To Kill"

by Bob Da Folder

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You packed up and left the truck over an hour ago.

Sometimes if the moon is still bright you don't even

need a headlamp to make your way out to the area

where you want to set up. It's cold out but the long

walk with the pack on makes you sweat inside your

waders and under all the layers. As you set your

decoys in the still water surrounding your blind, your

body cools and you can feel the chill in the air again.

Finally, with everything complete, it's time to wait

for sunrise.Just before the first light of day you can

hear the whistle of ducks flying near you. Wondering

what they are is almost torture. Are they the fat

greenies you hope to see again at first light, or are

they another brand, something you have never seen

before? Not long now till you start to make out shapes

and can see a little bit better as the sun comes closer

to the horizon. Now, as the other creatures of the woods

wake up and start to move around, you know that the

time is here. Time to kill.

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Circa 2006

A Call Out To All H7HT Members

Sure day one started off like any other hunting day. Wake up early if you slept at all, load up the truck, take a long walk carring heavy packs in the cool dark morning, then set the blind up throw out the blocks. After waiting a few minutes for the morning whistle to signal kill time and having your morning swig and smoke it's now time. It's what happens after that that is magical.

But YOU will never know unless you show up. Ever wake up and

have that feeling in your gut that you're missing it, it's because

you are.

You all recieved a membership hat, yet we never hear about any of your adventures see any of your photos and some of you never have made the effort to join us here in the great west.

You see we would like to put your adventures here on this fine blog to let all see what a fine team we are. So please, remember how you feel after reading and viewing our pictures, let's make it special for everyone.

Thanks For Your Time

Fred G. Co-founder Hoy 7 Hunting Team

Sauvie Island

The rush is already on for the annual waterfowl hunting permits at the Columbia River's Sauvie Island. Just 30 minutes from downtown Portland, where else could you find such good duck hunting this close to a major American city? The island is a 12,000-plus acre wildlife management area, owned and managed by the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife. It's a major stopover and wintering area for 150,000 migratory ducks and geese each fall and winter, attracting 8,000 hunters who stand by their trusty bird dog and wait for the wings to flap. A special permit is required for hunting the island and because permits are limited, they disappear quickly. For the desperate hunter, there is a stand-by line every hunt morning from which unfilled reservations are filled on a first-come basis. Depending on the water level each year, there are a few designated blinds available, but to get one, plan on standing in line overnight. Game-bird hunters are required to carry a valid hunting license and must obtain a Harvest Information Program validation.

By BILL MILLER
for the Mail Tribune

Daily Harvest Report Click Here

Opening Day Nap 2008-2009

3:23 AM Opening Day

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Ambien Where You

Ducks Fly Over My House Awake

One Hour I Wake Up

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401 Plan

If you had purchased $1,000 of Lehman Bros. stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.

With Wachovia, you would have $16.50 left.

With AIG, you would have less than $5 left.

But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago,

drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,

you would have had $214.

Based on the above,

the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg plan.

Season 2008-2009 The Begining

Welcome Readers to the 2008-2009 season.
Things started off a little bit rocky due to the the happy folk who decided to build a park and bird observatory in our hunting area. But that wont slow us down. It's cold out side early this year, 42 degrees this morning. Ducks and geese flying over our houses at night is amazing. The number of ducks spotted during our scouting expeditions was the most we have ever seen this early. Things just seem to different. What lays in store for us this year? Well come back often and check in with us for this year is lined up to be the best one yet! The video, pictures and stories this year will amaze and tantalize you. Guns are cleaned bags are packed, we are ready, are you?

Keep throwing Out the Steel.

It was the best of times.......

IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES.

So here it is, only 5 days until the opening day for the HOY7 hunting teams first day of the season. Scouting day if you will. We had already received bad news about Lisa's DEQ report, a failing grade for CO2 emissions, and a potentially costly repair on the horizon. Fred G took it in stride because he knows that she is merely trying to get some attention before the many miles we will put on her in the next few months. An appointment was made and plans were put in place to have her healthy and happy again in time for another stellar year of folding action.

The real disappointment was just around the corner, literally. We went to the old old spot for some preseason blind building and water level checking. Now, we knew full well that the parking area had been changed and a new lot was being built this summer but the extent of development was unexpected. As we walked through the woods on the same old trail we rounded the corner to find that a access trail had been built to accommodate the 'General Public'. (We hate the General Public) I can't begin to express our surprise at the graded and graveled trail stretching off into the distance toward the old old spot. And at the end, scant yards away from our established blind, a bird watching station complete with handicap accessible ramps and people friendly viewing areas.

Do you remember the old commercial with the Indian (feather not dot) shedding a tear for the rape and pillage of the land that he once loved? We felt his pain.

By our casual estimate this new development will bring in hundreds of people within yards of OUR spot. People with dogs to scare the ducks. People with binoculars to scope out our blinds. People with kids to play on the pristine shores. People with their filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Now here at the HOY7 hunting team we believe that all people have the right to enjoy the great outdoors, but not when it interferes with OUR enjoyment of the outdoors. Damn those people and their free access to OUR freedom.

So we discussed Eco Terrorism as an option. We mulled over sabotage of the parking area. Heck, even pungi sticks and pit traps were on the agenda. But in the end we just abandoned the old old spot for the time being. By the time the winter rolls around new options for blinds and folding areas will become available at the old old spot. Plus the water was really low.

We figured that the old new spot may be worth a look-see and Lisa obliged us with a trip down the road. Cutting brush and brambles along the way led us to believe that few had been out this way for a while and we were pleased to discover that at least the old new spot was undisturbed by the developers shovel. As we climbed down the embankment to the mighty Columbia we rounded a corner to find.......

Greenies. Big Greenies. Big Fat Greenies. Several Big Fat Greenies. Just hanging out eating some food and waiting for someone to shoot them. I have to confess, we're just the people to help them with that. Of course they flew away when we broke out of the cover of the willows but those trusting greenies came back and circled around at least 4 times looking for a place to land. We can't wait to see them on Monday. So we scoped a blind and set our timetables and gave a little shout out to how great this season is going to be. So stay tuned to this very Blog to see who folds the first duck ($10) and the first Greenie ($10) and the first banded duck ($50) and remember:
GBCH

Wedding Update.......

Gentle readers of the HOY7 hunting team Blog may I introduce to you Mr & Mrs William Henry Hopf.
It all happened out on Block Island, a small landing pad of earth off the coast of Rhode Island on the eastern seaboard. (Kind of like being in a tiny duck blind in the middle of a puddle.) Weather not withstanding, a good time was had by all and this couple is now working on producing ten to fifteen offspring to make the world safe for democracy and freedom. Heston bless you Brother and Kira.


P.S. To your left you will notice Al. I think he had one beer that night.

As seen on the ferry returning from Block Island.

Don't Forget To.....................

VOTE!

Less than a month away.

Three golfers are killed in a car crash and, having mostly behaved themselves in life, they go straight to heaven.

When they arrive, St. Peter greets them at the gate and says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't hit the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and, to their great joy, discover that it is one enormous golf course -- but there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible to play without hitting one. Sure enough, though they do their best to avoid it, one of the men eventually hits a duck. Poof! St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, appears with the ugliest woman the men have ever seen. St. Peter handcuffs this woman to the unfortunate golfer and says, "Your punishment is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman."

The very next day, the second man accidentally hits a duck. Poof! St. Peter arrives, and with him is another unbelievably ugly woman. He handcuffs the two together and sentences the man to remain chained to her for all eternity.

The third man is determined not to end up like his buddies, so he is extremely careful. He manages to golf for months without mishap. And one day, Poof! St. Peter appears with an absolutely gorgeous woman. He chains the two together without a word and vanishes. The man stares at this goddess, this vision of perfection with whom he will now spend eternity, and says, "Whatever did I do to deserve you?" The woman says, "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."

Still in the 'Brother Zone'

Many would say this is a big air.
Some would say this is a huge air.
I say "Check out those pants".

More from the 'Brother Zone'

Style.
Finesse.
Control.
How is it that this guy can't break 100?
Perhaps he should look down.