Mmmmmm, beer.

The Value Of A Drink

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

My backyard. Step 5

Step 5 is all about laying bricks. If you happen to have about 600 bricks lying around the house you can use them as a surface for your patio. The last update showed the foundation of gravel and sand that the bricks will sit on. After smoothing out the sand you can lay the bricks in any pattern you would like, I chose three different patterns for each area of the patio.

Once the bricks are put down sweep some builders sand into the cracks between the bricks. This will form the mortar to hold them in place while allowing thigs to grow between the bricks if you desire. pack the sand down and give it a good soaking to settle it. You will need to do this step a few times to get them to hold in place.

If you had, say, 800 bricks you could cover this whole area. If you only have 600 you have to find more. Sometimes bricks have the holes in the middle and they are not good for patio use. Let me make a suggestion what to do with them. Go down to the local park and find the water. In the water there are likely some ducks floating around waiting to be fed. Insert a little piece of brick inside the bread and feed it to those ducks. By the time hunting season comes around those ducks will be fat and slow.

Fred G. Isn't Your Birthday Coming Up???

Somebody, hook a brother up for Hestons' sake.

Looking Good.

MEMPHIS, Tenn., July 20, 2006 - Habitat conditions in eastern Canada are generally very good. Conditions are more varied in western Canada, where many areas are experiencing warm, dry weather. Waterfowl production appears to be very good in many parts of the country - the Waterfowl Breeding Population and Habitat Survey conducted by USFWS and CWS showed that breeding waterfowl numbers in the traditional survey area are up 9 percent from the long-term average and up 14 percent from spring 2005.

Spring precipitation has been highly variable in coastal British Columbia, and many natural wetlands are entering a low water regime. However, habitat conditions are generally still very good in the region. Resident waterfowl have broods in the class III stage, and brood-rearing habitat is also in good condition. On the lower mainland and Vancouver Island, farmers are irrigating crops and anticipating the harvest, which will start as early as next month for some crops. Salt issues are expected due to the warm, dry weather.

My backyard. Step 4

It's time to lay the foundation for the brick patio. Start with about 6 inches of gravel for drainage. In this case I'm using recycled concrete as my base, I'm also saving the enviornment.

By saving the enviornment I hope to promote growth of our nations wetlands. (not in my backyard but hopefully the concrete was dug up to plant some wetlands or whatever they do.) More wetlands mean more Ducks. More ducks means more killin' of ducks. Is'n that what it's all about in the end. So you could say that by redoing my backyard I'm helping the nations duck populations and all the hunters of America. Now that's patriotic.

Over the top of the gravel use builders sand to place the brick on top of. This forms a nice base after it has been compacted and leveled. You are now ready to lay the brick.

July 21st. Temp, 104.

Sometimes when I think back on duck hunting weather I remember it being cold. Those were the days .

The Value Of A Drink

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~ Henny Youngman



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Guest editor

HA! It is me, Greenie, I'm back. I have returned from France where I have been eating cheese and smoking cigarettes using my thumb and pinky talons. I also learned how to surrender and bad mouth America all while smelling like shit.

Something else I learned while I was away is that you hunters are stupid. I already knew that but sometimes it take a Frenchman to point out the obvious. Anyway, I will spend the next few months working out and taking massive quantities of steroids so that I may eaisily avoid your poorly placed decoys and crappy shooting skills. No matter, your Italian guns are worthless against my powers of ridicule and scorn.

Good luck losers.
I quack in your general direction.

One More Time.

STEEZIN' FOR NO REASON.

My backyard. Step 3

DIG. Step three includes lots of digging. Dig out all the areas where you intend to put in bricks. Remember that you have already dug out all the grass so that you have moved all this soil once already. Don't feel bad that you will have to move it again to get it out of your way when you are done with the next step, that's days away.

The area needs to be about 8 - 10 inches deep for the gravel and sand. They will allow the water to properly drain off the patio when the monsoon season starts again. This part of the process takes another two to three days. Try not to think about playing golf while you are digging.

Speaking of golf: it's a fact that ducks like to swim around on golf course ponds. If you properly place your shot you may be able to hit a duck in the middle of a lake or pond. If you miss it's a one stroke penalty. But if you make the shot it's worth it.

GBCH.

Poetry for PETA.

Little ducks are cute.
Little ducks are great.
Little ducks grow up.
Destined for my plate.

See his fuzzy fur.
See his fuzzy head.
See his fuzzy wings.
Soon he will be dead.

Happy litte duck.
Happy little guy.
Happy little life.
Now you have to die.

Fred G. Isn't your birthday coming up???

You know what Fred G. would really like for his birthday?
See below.

This Man Is A Freakin' HERO!

Turner wins contest for best duck blind in U.S.

BY DANNY WADE, Associate Editor The old saying 'the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys' surely fits one local hunting enthusiast. Now he has been nationally recognized and rewarded for having the best 'toy' in the United States.

Three Way alderman and avid duck hunter, David Turner, was voted to have the best duck blind in the United States by Ducks Unlimited. But best of all, his prize is a free two-year lease of a brand new 2006 Dodge Ram 2500 Mega Cab. Turner recently picked up his truck locally from Humboldt Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep in Humboldt.
"This truck has all the bells and whistles," Turner proudly said. "It has the Cummins diesel engine, four wheel drive, DVD player, and six-disc CD changer." He added that the sticker price of the truck was $48,000.

Ducks Unlimited held a contest on their website for the best duck blind. Turner thought about entering. He wrote a short article describing his blind and included several pictures. These were posted on Ducks Unlimited's website. When all the votes were tallied, Turner's blind was the clear winner, according to the article in the July/August 2006 issue of Ducks Unlimited magazine.

The duck blind sits in a 75-acre field next to the middle fork of the Forked Deer River on the family farm about a mile outside of Three Way, Turner said. Right now the field is planted in corn and soybeans.
The project started in the spring and summer of 1997 when Turner, who is a contractor and developer, and his son Johnathan decided to build a blind. He enticed several of his duck hunting buddies to join in and build the duck blind of all duck blinds. Turner said they took three or four months designing the blind.They used an auger to dig footings and poured 1,500 pounds of concrete into 15 to 20 piers for the blind. Pressure treated 2x4s, 2x6s and 2x8s make up the blind's frame and marine grade plywood is used on the floor, walls and ceiling. The blind is insulated and has a rubber roof to keep it dry. Brush and oak limbs are used for camouflage.
"The kitchen area is 12 by 24 feet and has a seven-foot ceiling," Turner said. "There is a 500 gallon propane tank with a propane wall heater, full size oven, large eating/card table, 16 school type lockers, a sink, and lights that run off batteries or generator. It has a garage that holds four 4-wheelers and has a bathroom. There's a separate garage that holds two 4-wheelers. Two doors in the kitchen lead to the shooting platform."

Turner installed a $15,000 diesel pump to flood the field prior to duck season. The pump delivers 7,500 gallons per hour. Turner said it takes 76 hours to flood the field. Once flooded, 200 to 300 decoys are placed in the water.
The almost 1,000 square feet blind is used mostly by Turner and his nephews, Jim Moore, John Moore and Chris Turner who helped build it, along with his son Johnathan.
"We usually have five or six hunting at a time but if the ducks are really flying, my buddies come out of the woodwork. We once had as many as 13 in the blind at one time," Turner added.
When asked how often he hunts during duck season Turner quickly said, "Every day." Duck season runs 60 days from early December to late January. He added that some seasons he has literally hunted every day of the season.

Luckily Turner gets the support from his very understanding wife, Cindy. He laughed as he gave his explanation of hunting every day. "If the hunting is not good one day," he says, "you think that it can't get any worse so you go the next day. If the hunting is good, then you say I better go now while it is good because it could change." David said he is not sure if Cindy buys his reasoning.
The free two-year lease on a 2006 Dodge Ram Mega Cab is compliments of Dodge.

My Backyard. Step 2

After removing all the turf and rototilling the whole yard it's time for some structure. Utilizing no plans, and applying for no permits, build a load bearing structure from the side of the garage out about 7 feet. This will form the basis for your patio. (Or portico or lenai or piazza or veranda or whatever you call these things.) Then cover it with shingles and you are on to the next project.

Another Jiggity Jeff Classic

"Hey Curley, you OK?"

3am in Moab Utah after Curley woke up screaming loud enough to wake the whole campground. He believed that Indians were chasing him into a revine where they would kill him. Jiggity cared enough to ask. What a guy.

Fred G. Isn't your birthday coming up???

"I like big trucks and I can not lie"
FGM.

120 days and counting.

"Hmmmmmm, Here it is."

Sober: ADJ:
1. Temperate or sparing in the use of alcoholic liquor.
2. Not drunk.
3. Temperate in any way; not extreme or extravagant.
4. Serious, solemn, grave or sedate.
5. Not exagerated or distorted.
6. Characterized by reason, sanity or self control; showing mental or emotional balance.

Congratulations Brother. My apoligies to our sponsors.

The history of Jenny X. part IX

Style Watch 1989

Many of you know all about the many facets of Jenny X. But I bet there's one thing you didn't know. Back in the 80s it was Jenny who started the craze of wearing cat-eye sunglasses and Gilligan hats. This look was stolen from him and eventually became a must for all stylish people the world over. From Rob Lowe to Ronald Reagan, everyone had 'the look' started by one simple man.

In this photo, taken at the height of the craze, even the famous snowboard legend Brother B. Hopf has copied the style. Styles come and styles go but one thing remains the same: Jenny X, master of all fashion.

So endeth the lesson of Jenny X.

Guest editor

Greenie had to go back to France for a while so I am taking his place.
It's me Coo-Coo, and I'm here to help you all wake up in the morning.
Let's try this and see how it goes!
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30
It's 6:30!
There, now that wasn't so much fun now was it?

Fred G. Isn't your birthday coming up???

These are Browning over-unders.

I bet these would make a nice gift.

My Backyard. Step 1

After pulling all the weeds and remvoing the cheesy planting beds it's time to get started on the real work. Start in the corner and dig out all the grass that has been hapily growing for years. This high-tec process is done with a shovel and bucket. Dig up the turf and shake out all the topsoil in the roots. Then throw all the turf in the truck for later trips to the dump.

This part of the process took 3 days when I expected it to take 2. Also, remember to wear sunscreen when the sun is out. Otherwise you may get a touch of the red on the white. Speaking of red and white: Red Head ducks never get sunburned on their white. Dosen't that make you want to shoot one? Me too.

GBCH

The Value Of A Drink

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

It's Been A Long Off Season So Far

It's been a long off season so far and some of us can't wait to get out...hunting that is. The anticipation is great, our guns are polished and our shells have load and we can't wait to blow our wad. Soon enough soon enough!










(Sometimes pictures don't reflect or match story)

Team Lore II

Day 11
Bob wrote

"NO COMMENT"


Fred G. here
Bubba has no comment on hunt day 11, which is okay, so I'll fill in the details.
The HOY7HT rose at an early 4am in anticipation of another great hunt day. With Bubba picking me up promptly at 430 we were on our way, me with a belly full of bran, 100% of course, and gullet full of 3 day old coffee, and Shmubba with a classic coke. The long drive to Sauvies Island always evokes fond memories of hunts past and wishful memories of the future such as "when we win powerball were gonna..." or "were going to bag the limit today for sure". We arrive at the non-reservation check in station and got in line, we had a decent spot in the line but Bubba commented on how long the reservation line was, and yes I'll have to admit it was rather large, just like my python legs if you remember the mud story. There we sat for the next hour reading up on our identification of ducks so as to not shoot the wrong bird or shoot something out of season, because we all know we wouldn't shoot anything out of season. All though the common thread while sitting in the blind is "if a goose flys over my head I'm gonna shoot it". We all know that geese are out of season. Speaking of season as in seasoning, heres a little helpful hint: salt makes a sandwich taste better. Well the gates open and we finally get to the station to pick our blind, we arrive at the window and there was only 2 blind left, mind you there was 8 trucks behind us, they must have been PISSED. Our choicess being mudhen 16 or hunt 13. We choose hunt 13 not ever being there and looking for something new to try, plus mudhen 16 is about a mile walk in the mud, while walking in is fine walking out when you just put down a bottle of Jameson is brutal. Not to mention caring your limit in ducks. We drove to our new found hunting blind, anticipation a brewing, among other things, remember the 100% bran and three day old coffee. We unload our gear grab our new fine Italian made guns, made for Italians and people who ride Italian motorcycles. It was a small jaunt to blind 13 maybe 100 yards or so, a big lovely oak to our left and wide open waters to our right. We throw our deeks out under the big oak because it looks like a fine feeding spot for the ducks and put our HOY7HT made roto duck out to the right with a couple of feeders around it. As we are throwing the deeks out literaly hundreds of ducks are flying over our heads, but of course it was not fly time yet, but what a wonderful sight it was though. I then commented to Bob, Bubba , Shmubba or Bill what ever you call him "Gosh I wish Steve were here this week to see this, he would shit his pants for sure". If you all remember week 10 when we took SteveO to Sauvies, it was a disaster. We settle into our blind it's about 6 now crack our bottles of whikey open take a slug christen the blind have a smoke and were on our way. We wait till it's CIL (kill) time. It's now 12 o'clock we have drank half of our bottles and were out of smokes. Sure we have gotten off a few shots here and there but not much GOOD action. The birds are sketchy this time of year, it sounds like Iraq out there for gods sake. So were out of smokes like I said, bubba being the coolest guy ever said "I'll get some more smokes" I think he really needed a smoke. As he is walking back to the truck which is only 100 yards away remember, a duck flys into the blind and Fred G. folds it like Superman on laundry day. I could almost hear shmubbas discontent as he is walking back to the truck. It was a canvasback by the way, and if you were to read this years game book you would know that they are out of season. Shame, I care the mo. Bubba returns minutes later, because the store was about 200 yards away and I'm still out in the marsh looking for blasted duck I folded. Nowhere to be seen all I find is a skanky old dead duck that has been out there for god knows how long. 416 pm in the truck now riding home feeling pretty down, maybe the worst hunting day ever. Usually we see something cool, a great sunrise, some bald eagles, snow capped mountains, or we learn something new, you need a new license after January first, there is no water in the north unit, don't shoot a duck in its ass with a 3 1/2 inch shell 10 yards away and expect that you will be able to eat it, and salt makes a turkey sandwich taste that much better. Today nothing. Except now as I sit here and try to do my best to fill in for my BFF, cause he's feeling down about our hunt day, I think I did learn something...RESERVATIONS. Gold Bless America and happy holidays to you and your family's from the HOY7HT
Word.
Fred G from the West side.


(Sometimes picture or pictures don't reflect or match story)

Remember When.

Sometimes it seems so far away. Almost four months away and still the anticipation is there. If I were you I'd start getting together everything you need for the season. And remember, new batteries for the headlamp. It's dark out there in the morning.

GBCH.

Fred G. Isn't your birthday coming up???

Q: You know what Fred G. needs?

A: A duck boat.

My backyard.

Here you will see a picture of my backyard. When we moved into this fine home the back yard left something to be desired. It was overgrown with weeds in the beds, bad grass and had a deck that was boring at best. We lived with that backyard for the summer last year but decided that it was time for an upgrade.

Since there is nothing going on in the hunting world, and I'm spending most of my free time in the yard getting it put together, I'm going to use this forum to show all you fine readers what I'm up to. This picture is from when we had just moved in. Over the next few weeks I'll post more pics that chronogically chronicle the steps I took to create, what I hope will be, a backyard oasis.

If you find my posts lame and think they have nothing to do with hunting you may be right. I will do my level best to include a reference to hunting in my posts. For example: No ducks were nesting in my backyard when we bought this house. So far, unfortunately, no ducks have been harmed in the construction process.

GBCH.

Happy 4th Of July

The Value Of A Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame, then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.