Where Are They Now?

Happy Halloween From the Hoy 7 Hunting Team

Halloween Party


A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little romp.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.

He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

Lore

Saturday, July 08, 2006

A Srory Of Mud And Mud Backwards

Hello Friends.
Being there I must interject just a little. It's a story of the mud and a boy named Tommy. Many years ago, myself and some guys named Curieye, Bubba L and Domino (sorry about those sunglasses by the way) decided to take to a day on the CT river. I myself being so large decided to hog all of the ski and knee board time myself, it must have been at least 6 hours straight on the water, I was wasted. Needless to say my massive pythons and thick thighs were k'd. Curieye decided to moor the boat about a half mile out from the beach and said "lets swim to shore" cause being from the east coast we call it the shore. Anyway to make a short story even longer, about a half mile into it, my pythons being as tiered as they were wanted to quit. I couldn't go any further, I decided my destiny was to die right there in the CT river. I was done, I was ready to meet my maker. My life flashed before my eyes. Then lo and behold a young lad out of nowhere said " yo Fred G with your pythons so large, jump into my blow up raft and I shall get you to shore safely". Not to let the young lad down I jumped in and he got me to the shore with some cold berf waiting, safely no less. Well today was a day that brought me back to the day that a young man named Tommy saved me from certain death. I was the man stuck in the quicksand like mud up to my waist today. My long time hunting buddy, companion, my bffe, came back to save his friend because we are a hunting team. HOY7HT is what we call ourselves. He risked his own life to save me from drowning in a mud puddle. After hours of risking uncertain death himself he and myself were able to free myself from the python choking like mud, the more I struggled the more it sucked me down to certain death. After freeing myself we sat and tried to drink some whiskey, we couldn't even, thats how bad it was....you know the whole story now, I just wanted to make sure the MAN named BUBBA got his props, you too TOMMY. I LOVE YOU GUYS....I'm not afraid to say it, I love two men. I'm here because of you twos.
Thanks.

God BlessFred G

A Break In the Action

Sometimes you just want to get up in the morning and go hunting. Well, not this morning.

The season isn't over and it certainly has begun but something prevents us from hunting today. A two day break in the action right at the begining of the fun. Why? I don't know.

Rather than complaining about how this affects the mental state of the team, or how great the sandwich would have been, or even how I would have folded the first Greenie of the season today I'm going to try to be positive. Maybe they needed time to let the ducks rest. Maybe this is an opportunity for the wardens to look at harvest numbers. Maybe this is a time for new ducks to travel through the Pacific Flyway without the threat of the HOY7 hunting teams power. Whatever the reason I hope things work out okay, because next time we are going to make up for today. GBCH

More Jack Handey

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy.

I'll just walk around being real happy

until some jerk says something stupid to me.

Fred G. Takes A Stab At It

No Hunting Or Killing Now

My Bottle Is Full

Lisa Sits And Waits Idle

Automobile?

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember

if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

-George Burns-

Goes Great with Duck

Andy V., aka. 357 aka. Cliffy went chanterelle

hunting and bags 13 pounds.

(NOTE: A team member actually sends in a pic. for blog)

Name That Folder

Day Three.

Day three saw the first time in a long while that the top three slayers of the storied HOY7 hunting team all sat in the same blind. That's right, Andy 'Cliffy' V. joined us for a day of hunting fun. Of course this particular picture does not do him justice. Cliffy was at the pinacle of awareness and attention untill the days excitement overtook him and he had to 'bring it down a notch'. Meanwhile Fred G. was trying to 'bring it up a notch'. Perhaps if Cliffy had worn his H7HT head gear he would be more involved in this moment.

The day started out clear and warm, never a great sign of impending folding. Also the day before there had been a large windstorm. It seems that every time we have a big windstorm the next few days are less than great. I attribute that to all the ducks being blown downriver to Astoria or perhaps Hawaii. At any rate we saw only minimal ducks and got off fewer shots. Nonetheless, a good time was had by all and we made plans to repeat the process in the near future.

GBCH

(as a sidebar I would like to point out two major developments for the day. #1 There were only two sandwiches for three hunters. #2 Fred G. again drank my last sip, but I was glad he did this time.)

Anyone Still Think It's A Bad Idea To Kill These Things?

On Sunday, May 21st, an adult male mallard was brought to the International Bird Rescue Research Center (IBRRC), with what appeared to be a broken wing. Since 1971, the IBRRC has been rescuing birds from the devastating effects of oil spills around the world. Marie Travers, assistant manager of the center, radiographed the mallard and was immediately shocked by what was revealed on the x-ray. A very clear image of what appeared to be the face, or head, of an extraterrestrial alien was in the bird's stomach.

Day Two

Did I mention I made beef jerky for today's slay? How does a man that drives get the extra half hour of sleep? And speaking of sleeping is it not the early bird that gets the worm? These questions and more but first a word from our sponsor.

"Jameson Whiskey A Fine Drinking Whiskey Good Enough For the Hoy 7 Hunting Team"

Available in 750 ml for those BIG days

Always drink responsibly and take at least one nap

Day Two. I must admit that today I slept in just a little bit but for good reason. I got the elusive 15 extra minutes of sleep that's not suppose to come with driving. The reason being was that I was up all night making fresh beef jerky for the team. I will post the recipe later. I scrambled over to Bob DaFolders' house as fast as Lisa would take me. Upon arrival I see Bob sitting and waiting ever so patiently, Bob gets in my apologies go out and Bob says "we'll never make poker chip!" which he was totally correct because it was 5:03 and we would have to be at poker chip by 5:30, and with an hour drive it was not going to happen. Bob DaFolders silence envelops the truck like a fog over San Francisco. After we hustle to the East side of Sauvies and get in the non-reservation line the fog clears, things seem to be cool, especially since we are not the last ones in line, but the fifth to last. Did I mention I made fresh beef jerky for the team? Well after a little wait we were awarded blind number 13 in the Hunt unit, for me one of the more scenic blinds but not a favorite among hunters due to the late morning light and such. The H7HT loves a challenge. After Bob expertly lays out the blocks we settle in with the same morning rituals, whikey, smokes, chat, whikey and so forth and so on. A lot of sky busting going on and a little frustration, time for lunch. I must have put some of that stuff that's in turkeys cause when Bob was done with his sammy he went right to sleep. Well guess what happens when Bob sleeps? That's right Fred G. kills. Hen Mallard flew about 20 yards out coming into our spread and bamo, first kill of the year for Fred G. and the team, guess what that makes me? See new poll. Well a bunch of same happens, Bob is now trying to stay awake cause he don't want to miss it. Well guess what? he falls asleep again. Now right about this time my bottle of whikey is gone and I look over to Bobs bottle and see he has ever so little left. Well knowing that when Bob wakes up were just going to leave and since I'm carring the bag with all that kind of stuff in it I wanted to make sure the bag was as light as possible, so I drank his last bit of whikey, and as I did he woke up just in time to see me finish his bottle off. Remember the FOG?

Fred G.

We Asked For It!

The other day my H7HT team member and all around expert in all things hunting asked our other team members to please send in some photos of their hunting exploits. Shortly thereafter I received this E-mail from the legendary Brother B. Hopf. Although not a duck hunter currently, the Brother does have a keen eye for ducks. He sent in this fine picture of a duck. I altered the photo in order to not violate the terms of agreement with our service provider.

Thanks Brother for your contributions to the blog and our American way of life.

Haiku

Waking in the morning calm

Feel the chilling air

Anticipation is great

By Jack Handey

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would

sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Day One.

The eastern morning sky turned a golden red as the sun came up over Mt Hood today. We had traveled to the old old spot and witnessed another glorious morning filled with promise and splendor. As The start of the 2007 hunting season began I think we realized how lucky we are.

Not only are we members of the best hunting team ever, we also travel in the coolest 1975 F-250 on the road, have the finest Italian guns money can buy, eat like kings, sit in comfort, and know everything there is to know about folding ducks. With this being said I think there's no reason to go into how many ducks we got today. It seems to pale in comparison to the experiences we have. Sure, I'd tell you about the shots we had, the ducks flying in the morning air and the abundant wildlife we saw but that would only be gloating. You may have had to work today. Maybe you didn't get to be outside in the crisp air. So let's leave out the details of the final numbers of fat greenies we brought home. It only seems fair.

Day one was great. God Bless Charlton Heston and all the friends of the HOY7 Hunting team.

Before and After

How many differences can you spot between these two pictures?

Preperations Complete

WHIKEY

CHECK!

GUN

CHECK!

?

Potential sandwich for the first day of hunting season.

We may need a bigger backpack.

Who's At the Top Of the Money List?

Cold Hard Cash

(from the not so distant past)
Behold the somewhat somber face of Honest Abe. This very piece of good ole American currency came to me today by way of one very dead greenie. Finally after days of tempting fate, Mr. Greenhead flew by the wrong Benelli totin' folding machine. I gave him about 3 1/2 inches of steel death from a respectable distance of 20 yards or so. After a sucessfull retrieve I came back to the blind to find this finski stuck on a branch just for me. It's been a long time coming, but it sure was worth it.

Lore: First and Second Day 2006

Fred G Here
Yo all welcome back, hope you all had a great summer, I heard Andy B and his girl yo saved a small country in Africa from thirstation by learning how to rain dance from a small tribe in CT, now they are about to embark on adopting a small children from that same country, way to go Andy as if savin the Catrina peoples was not good enough to make us all look bad. I heard The Brother got another DUI, did a stint in rehab and is resting comfortably at his grannies. I heard Ned made another million. (FUCKER) Jenny X is a chumpion at his club. Curious....well I only heard from him when he was faced. God bless Corey Lidel. Steve O dug himself out of a hole and threatens to come back to PDX to kill, and the Bean just threatens. Day One Monday 16. With classic mis information from our team member Andy, who we will call Cliff Clavin from now on, we awoke at a bright and shine 3 am. Thats early people. Bubba picks me up, talk of lack of sleep, anticipation and what a great season it's gonna be ensues. We arrive at the check in gate at a crisp 4:15, second car in line. It seems early, because it is, we don't have to be here until 5:30, another classic H7HT blunder. Remember the mis info from Cliff. We hang with four guys in a Tercel. Finally gates open chips are pulled, Bubba pulls no. 141 ouch, Fred G pulls no. 20 which is good for 4th pick for blinds. Were off to a great start. We get to our blind do a little blind decorating, deeks out, sun up, bottle of So Co down. A little action, a few shots are takin and had, a few too many. My buddy passes out, I cleaned, pull the deeks out, wrap up the rotto, it's bluebird sky now and I get "what the fuck are you doing? did anybody ask me if it is over?" No Shmubba I just thought you would be more comfortable at home sleeping on you couch with Opra, besides half your face is beet red from passing out in the sun I say. "It's not Opra fucker it's Ellen! I got more booze and smokes." So my hunting bud "convinces" me we should throw the deeks back out. Two hours later no shots off no nothing we pack up and go home. Great tacos on the way home though, would have made Jiggity proud. Day Two Wednesday 18. See were the "best ever" cause we learn people. If we go back in time here are some things we have learned; you need a new license at the begging of the year, sometime certian ducks are out of season even though it is hunting season, and the ever popular salt will make your food taste better. Well gosh darn it if we didn't learn something today, you only have to be at the check in station a hour and a half before shoot time. So if shoot time is 7am you have to be there at? ............................ that's right 530am! We don't have to leave at 3:45 but we could leave at 4:45, thats an extra hour for Shmubba to sleep! Picks me up, were on our way, (note: remember when your mom used to or still does drink TAB? Well Bubba greeted me with a TAB energy drink this morning, I think it's for women going throught the change, anyway it SUCKS! If you should visit him and he offers you one, say no thank you you FAG cause it SUCKS!) it's Wednesday so it's the day we talk about POWERBALL people, let the dreams begin! Get to the check in station, small wait, we get a new blind we never had before, throw our deeks and it's like JFK at Christmas, the ducks are going off. 7 am hits, it sounds like Nam. I'm shooting at everything, I mean everything! But I'm not knocking nothing down until I fold two thats correct two with one shot and in the same volley another for a total of 3. I am now the new and improved expert. I need respect. A glorious morning folks. You will find a recipe for duck in a mole sauce and a picture of the 3 ducks I murdered today, if you notice the middle one I just wasted, damn I'm good. Anyway that's pretty much it for now, until next week.
And thanks for coming back.


Fred G.

Open Letter To Our Readers

Hello Every One.
Fred G here back on the blog and welcoming everyone back for another exciting hunting season with the H7HT. The summer is past us now and fall and winter is in our sights, as well as big fat greenies. We took some time to relax, a few trips one to Mexico and another to the beautiful state of Connecticut. We got Lisa back and she is set I mean she is looking good, I want to thank the farmer for taking such good care of her. And last but not least the team had a musical interlude with one of the greatest bands ever - Lynyrd Skynyrd, amazing is all I could say. But now we are getting lets say just a little bit psyched up for this upcoming hunting season. The season could not look better. Cold nights and cool mornings have been in the forecast with some rain in the mix. Lisa is back in our life and the H7HT could not be happier. I got my gun back together and with no left over parts. Speaking of leftovers, can't wait for turkey sandwiches. And the number one reason this is going to be a great season is that Bob D. Folder can sleep in and extra 15 minutes cause I'm driving this year. Speaking of Bob D. Folder, I would like to address this "Premonition" story a few days back. Lets go over some facts here: Bob D. Folder is high. Me, Fred G, is the expert. And Lisa is just, what should I say...Lisa. Bob D. Folder always spouts at the beginning of the year of his ensuing greatness. He goes into the deep archives and pulls a picture of himself out that shows him holding the coveted 10 dollars for the first greenie and first duck of the year. Bob fails to remind everyone that in the past 4 seasons Bob D. Folder and I have split the 10 dollars, he also forgets to mention I have been the H7HT expert every year since he has taught me this great sport. And I quote from a story Bob D. Folder wrote last year "Day 23 was nothing to talk about but day 24 was killer. Fred G definitely takes the title of 'Expert' this year. His killing powers are nothing short of amazing. I like to think that someday I too will be as good of a folder as he is". Any way welcome back all, stay tuned for some great stories, pictures and new this year videos. It's going to be GREAT!

Fred G.

Lisa

CHECK

OVER?

OVER

Premonition

Exactly one week from today I expect to see this very same scene happening. It is a picture of me displaying the $10 I won (and will win again) from Fred G for folding the first duck of the season. Yep, it'll be a greenie too. Stay tuned for the updated picture.

GBCH

History Of Our Hunting Spots

Describing the areas between Gary Island (the old old spot) and Sauvies Island

From the Journals of Lewis and Clark ...

Clark, November 4, 1805 ...

A cloudy cool morning wind from the West we Set out at ½ past 8 oClock, one man Shannon Set out early to walk on the Island to kill Something, he joined us at the lower point with a Buck. This island is 6 miles long and near 3 miles wide thinly timbered (Tide rose last night 18 inches perpndicular at Camp) near the lower point of this diamond Island is The head of a large Island Seperated from a Small one by a narrow chanel, and both Situated nearest the Lard Side, those Islands as also the bottoms are thickly Covered with Pine &c. river wide, Country low on both Sides; on the Main Lard Shore a Short distance below the last Island we landed at a village of 25 Houses: This village contains about 200 men of the Skil-loot nation ...

at 7 miles below this village passed the upper point of a large Island nearest the Lard Side, a Small Prarie in which there is a pond opposit on the Stard. here I landed and walked on Shore, about 3 miles a fine open Prarie for about 1 mile, back of which the countrey rises gradually and wood land comencies Such as white oake, pine of different kinds, wild crabs with the taste and flavour of the common crab and Several Species of undergroth of which I am not acquainted, a few Cottonwood trees & the Ash of this countrey grow Scattered on the river bank, ... joined Capt. Lewis at a place he had landed with the party for Diner. ...
dureing the time we were at dinner those fellows Stold my pipe Tomahawk which They were Smoking with... we proceeded on

One Week To Go!

Lore

Fred G. here
Bubba has no comment on hunt day 11, which is okay, so I'll fill in the details.
The HOY7HT rose at an early 4am in anticipation of another great hunt day. With Bubba picking me up promptly at 430 we were on our way, me with a belly full of bran, 100% of course, and gullet full of 3 day old coffee, and Shmubba with a classic coke. The long drive to Sauvies Island always evokes fond memories of hunts past and wishful memories of the future such as "when we win powerball were gonna..." or "were going to bag the limit today for sure". We arrive at the non-reservation check in station and got in line, we had a decent spot in the line but Bubba commented on how long the reservation line was, and yes I'll have to admit it was rather large, just like my python legs if you remember the mud story. There we sat for the next hour reading up on our identification of ducks so as to not shoot the wrong bird or shoot something out of season, because we all know we wouldn't shoot anything out of season. All though the common thread while sitting in the blind is "if a goose flys over my head I'm gonna shoot it". We all know that geese are out of season. Speaking of season as in seasoning, heres a little helpful hint: salt makes a sandwich taste better. Well the gates open and we finally get to the station to pick our blind, we arrive at the window and there was only 2 blind left, mind you there was 8 trucks behind us, they must have been PISSED. Our choicess being mudhen 16 or hunt 13. We choose hunt 13 not ever being there and looking for something new to try, plus mudhen 16 is about a mile walk in the mud, while walking in is fine walking out when you just put down a bottle of Jameson is brutal. Not to mention caring your limit in ducks. We drove to our new found hunting blind, anticipation a brewing, among other things, remember the 100% bran and three day old coffee. We unload our gear grab our new fine Italian made guns, made for Italians and people who ride Italian motorcycles. It was a small jaunt to blind 13 maybe 100 yards or so, a big lovely oak to our left and wide open waters to our right. We throw our deeks out under the big oak because it looks like a fine feeding spot for the ducks and put our HOY7HT made roto duck out to the right with a couple of feeders around it. As we are throwing the deeks out literaly hundreds of ducks are flying over our heads, but of course it was not fly time yet, but what a wonderful sight it was though. I then commented to Bob, Bubba , Shmubba or Bill what ever you call him "Gosh I wish Steve were here this week to see this, he would shit his pants for sure". If you all remember week 10 when we took SteveO to Sauvies, it was a disaster. We settle into our blind it's about 6 now crack our bottles of whikey open take a slug christen the blind have a smoke and were on our way. We wait till it's CIL (kill) time. It's now 12 o'clock we have drank half of our bottles and were out of smokes. Sure we have gotten off a few shots here and there but not much GOOD action. The birds are sketchy this time of year, it sounds like Iraq out there for gods sake. So were out of smokes like I said, bubba being the coolest guy ever said "I'll get some more smokes" I think he really needed a smoke. As he is walking back to the truck which is only 100 yards away remember, a duck flys into the blind and Fred G. folds it like Superman on laundry day. I could almost hear shmubbas discontent as he is walking back to the truck. It was a canvasback by the way, and if you were to read this years game book you would know that they are out of season. Shame, I care the mo. Bubba returns minutes later, because the store was about 200 yards away and I'm still out in the marsh looking for blasted duck I folded. Nowhere to be seen all I find is a skanky old dead duck that has been out there for god knows how long. 416 pm in the truck now riding home feeling pretty down, maybe the worst hunting day ever. Usually we see something cool, a great sunrise, some bald eagles, snow capped mountains, or we learn something new, you need a new license after January first, there is no water in the north unit, don't shoot a duck in its ass with a 3 1/2 inch shell 10 yards away and expect that you will be able to eat it, and salt makes a turkey sandwich taste that much better. Today nothing. Except now as I sit here and try to do my best to fill in for my BFF, cause he's feeling down about our hunt day, I think I did learn something...RESERVATIONS. Gold Bless America and happy holidays to you and your family's from the HOY7HT
Word.
Fred G from the West side.

More Good News

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) has released its preliminary report on mid-continent breeding ducks and habitats, based on surveys conducted in May.

Overall, duck populations increased 14 percent since last year with an estimated 41.2 million breeding ducks on the surveyed area. As a result of winter snowfall and good precipitation, habitat conditions are similar or slightly improved compared to conditions in 2006.

One of the most important elements in duck breeding success is the amount of water present on the prairie breeding grounds. When the survey was conducted in May, total pond counts for the United States and Canada combined showed 7 million ponds, a 15 percent increase from last year’s estimate, and 44 percent higher than the long-term average. The mallard number is 10 percent higher than last year. An estimated 8 million mallards are on the prairies this spring, compared to last year’s estimate of 7.3 million birds. Mallard numbers are 7 percent above the long-term average.

The most positive news coming out of this year’s survey is that redheads, canvasbacks and northern shovelers are at record highs, and increases were also seen in two of three species of concern.

Pop Quiz

Which one of these small harmless creatures

is the mighty

Fred G afraid of ?

Building Blinds

The before and after shots of one of the blinds we built today. It won't be long now.