Ménage à trois

You before you were a D*ck!

Oh here you are the young one Willy, thinking you are so cool!  Little did you know that you are stupid! YES I call you Willy because you weren't even part of that stupid team yet!  Who do you think you are coming to my house and stinking the place up with your obese animal? You know why you were able to shoot three of my cousins with one shot? Because they were retarded, yeah I doinked their momma and they happened.  Enjoy every mentally challenged bite you fool.  

I quack in your general direction.  Fool.

Missing: Monday November 30 2015

Hi my name is Missy and I followed Fred G. to his blind today then took off.  My owner is just sick over me running away from him, I didn't even hear him screaming my name over and over this morning.  If you happen to find him please alert the authorities.

Instant Messaging

• d4m - drink for missing
• d4sd- drink for seeing ducks
• d4c - drink for ciling 
• d4ld - drink for losing dog
• 2-4 taking a leak
• wc - wikki cold
• cow - Clider on walk
• 2d1s- Two Ducks, One Shot
• 3d1s- Three Ducks, One Shot
• 4d1s- Four Ducks, One Shot
• gwc - Gun went click

(feel free to add)

Expert, with a Capital E

As previously mentioned by Bob D, we were heading for the Theater for some truly wild action.  Literally millions of birds were in and around the theater on Friday, and we wanted a piece of that action.  The plan was to get in, limit, and get out by 10:00 as we both had things to do after cleaning a pile of birds.

According to plan we walked in and set up a pretty big spread with almost 30 goose fakes and around a dozen mallards.  We settled into the existing blind that was still in tip top shape from last year and prepared for a killing fest.  With 25 minutes to spare, we just sat there and watched every bird on the lake flee from an air boat that was powered by twin straight piped monster truck engines.  In the final minutes before shooting time we witnessed many large trains of ducks and geese swimming single file through the spread looking for a little more distance from the air boat.

Once the time was right we had a few small birds come in, but nothing we were looking for was interested.  We passed the time and due to the short walk in I decided to go for a warm up walk fairly early.  I got the sneak on a nice drake widgeon and Peat got it out of the water for me.  This is an important part of the story because now we had to walk fairly often in order to keep him from freezing to death.

We had a few big flys but nothing was coming in at the Theater.  The occasional diver would swing by, or mallards would check us out only to land on open water.  It soon became time for another walk, as Peat was icing up in the sub 20 degree weather,  Bob and I had witnessed the bay to our immediate south load up throughout the morning so I headed that way.

As I approached the bay I kept a low profile and stuck my head over the embankment to look across at the other side.  As I looked out, a few hundred mallards exploded off the shore below me, catching me off guard. I pulled up, reminded myself that I am the expert and picked a single greenie that was going to come home with me.  As the comotion cleared from that single shot, I realized that there were six orange legs hanging out of the water within a few feet of each other.  The were no cripples, two dead greenies and a hen,

Peat made the triple retrieve, and I hid the birds near the car behind a rock.  I set a piece of steel that I was carrying for Bob on the rock, he likes to hang them on his cabin you know.  I then headed back and vaguely answered Bobs questions about the shot, not admitting to anything.  A little while later a henny came straight in, fresh off the triple kill I stood up confidence and pasted her with with the kind of authority you come to expect from a man who is capable of the triple kill.

We decided to pack it up and head back to the car.  I watched as Bob went for his piece of steel and saw the pile of trophy birds behind the rock, very satisfying,  I told him the story and he stacked them on top of my bag, the difference in weight made the final part of the journey exhausting.  This is the kind of stuff that separates the H7HT from the rest, banded birds, triple kills, and highly trained dogs. We are the best.

Who's a good boy?

Bleak Friday

Ahhhh, the day after Thanksgiving.  The day all good Americans flock to shopping centers everywhere to buy a big television the Chinese made just for us.  Clider and I went shopping too, shopping for meat.

I picked up Clider and trusty New Black Betty brought us to Anderson with ease.  We started for The Point but after just a few minutes there we realized that The Tip was the place to be.  Clider stayed behind on that side to place decoys there and I headed over to fill the waterline on the other.  We have yet to build a hide on The Tip so I spent .86 cents on some grass and a couple sticks to keep us invisible to the inevitable flocks.  Piles of ducks and geese flew before shooting time and we slowly settled into a rhythm of calling and hoping.  Even though the decoys looked great only a few opportunities came our way. I had a small duck fly straight at me at well over a thousand MPH and had no choice but to try to blast him, but fortunately I missed as he would have been ground to a pulp buy some 4 shot at only 3 feet away.

Clider took his walks and I stayed hidden behind a stick but really not much happened.  The wind died off and the sun warmed us to a whopping 20 degrees and we decided to go.  On the way home we did a little scouting and found that The Theatre was holding mucho patos holmes.  Clider will have to tell that story.

GBCH

Playing Catch

New Blind

I am playing a little catch up here, in fact I have some reading to do from the looks of it.

As Fred and Bob were settling in for breakfast I was hard at work setting up in a fancy new blind at Cave, or Medicine Lake.   Mallards came in a few minutes before shooting light, in fact it was down right busy before shooting time.  Once it was legal however things slowed right down.

After a miss or two I finally got my chance, a pair caught me off guard but a nice fat greenie came in as a straggler.  I got him on the first shot, but he immediately righted himself and started swimming off.  I shot a few more rounds but he was under full steam.  At this point I did what any self respecting hunter without a boat would do, I waded across the lake to the other side and chased him around in two feet of boot sucking mud.  If anyone saw Peat and I in the reeds on the other side, they probably got a good laugh out of it.  As a bonus I now know that you can wade across that whole section of the lake.   

After retrieving my first solo greenie of the season, Peat and I packed up and headed home to recover from the previous three days of wiki.

You can wade across this..

Thanksgiving

I try and hunt every Thanksgiving, and since Mo is out of town I had no reason not to.  Otis had shotten a limit of birds for the first time yesterday and was going to show me the ropes today.  We made plans at a ski movie showing the night before and he assured me a limit of greenies.  I got out of there and finished packing around midnight, Otis apparently kept the party going.

I woke up and established that the boat wasn't going to start, but since it was packed I figured we could push it to the channel a Killarney, Otis' killing hole.  I couldn't get Otis to answer the phone, and since he had to peel out early and drive to the coast after hunting, he was taking his own truck. So I swung by and knocked as I walked into his living room.

Otis was still fully clothed and wearing shoes from the night before, he was also face down in his dog beds.  He figured out how to keep his balance after a few minutes, and grabbed his pile of gear and jumped in his truck.  We arrived at the ramp to an inch of ice, which was really fun to push the boat through.  Especially for Otis who was starting to sober up at this point.  Bob D would have loved this.

We left the boat in the channel and set 10 blocks and a spinner on the main lake.  As we were walking into the reeds to load our guns a flock of greenies came in and hovered over the beach.  After they left and we loaded up a few different sets of teal came in and landed in the spread.  We were waiting for greenie.

After a bit of a quiet spell a small flock came in and committed.  I dropped a juvy greenie with splotchy coloring, Otis was content to sit there and deal with his hangover.  Peat made the retrieve in frigid conditions and we settled in  for a bit of a slow morning.  After passing on a few more teal, I decided to take a shot and was two for two with a nice little drake.  That was followed by one of the best setups that I have ever missed.  A nice fat greenie landed 20 feet in front of me while I was fumbling with my safety.  As I turned off my safety he jumped and I missed by a mile, for some reason my bicep and cheek were sore after that shot.

After that we headed back in, with a running motor this time.  Otis headed for the coast and Peat and I walked the channel near Medimont.  On the way out we scored a hen ringneck, Peat managed to make the retrieve which included jumping up a four foot bank with the duck.  After a few tries he grabbed onto more than just feathers and brought it in.  Good dog.

Thanksgiving Day Massacre

With Cliffy taking the reins of cooking Thanksgiving Day dinner I thought I may contribute something to stick inside that there bird.  With Lisa back from the doctors and a full tank of go-go juice confidence was high.  Load the truck up and "We are the Champions" is streaming out my speakers, perfect.  Make it to the gate at 5:40 and there are two trucks already in the parking lot.  One person gone and two Mallakas loading up their wagons to pull out with them and a dog.  Before you know it this 48 old man with a 50 pound pack on his back Scooby Doos right past them they have no idea what hit them.  Make it to the water, down a little, and head over to the New New spot.  Set up is a snap with the $1,000,000 million dollar blind (higher properly values here in PDX) already to roll.  The moon is full no need for a headlamp thank goodness since mine died at the house.  I have 20 minutes to settle in and even enough time to sacrifice a pair of wool gloves to the spicy Thai food I enjoyed the night before.  Not even cilling time yet but it's so bright out that people are pulling the trigger 10 minutes before the 6:43 cil time.

Just as the bell went off two mallards fly in and I send one doing cartwheels to the other side of the cove. With the morning fly going off I decided to just leave it and pick it up later.  Many birds flying through, just amazing considering where and when I'm hunting.  Another set of birds come in and I raise the gun and pull the trigger, CLICK! I've been "Willied!"  Meanwhile two Mallakas out on the point on the island are getting more looks than me and pulling the trigger at everything.  Geese way out of range, shit ducks, winging stuff, what a scene.  Every duck that came in was welcomed by 6 shots.  Another set of mallards fly through all hens, nothing to see here, I respectfully let them pass.  A set of tankards come through low on the deck, what better than a duck stuffed in a gooses ass?  CLICK!  "Willied" again.  I may have to take the fire stick to go see Warren, he'll know what to do.  A beautiful morning accompanied by a nice fly.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

P.S.  Got that hen home and started cleaning her and the pasting I envoked on her promoted poop to come out her breast meat.  I have pictures but I'm sure you all are eating a fine dinner. 

Fred 14:28-7

Give Man Sauce and Feed Him for a Night

Teach a Man how to Make Sauce

and You Feed Him for a Night

• 1/2  onion chopped and sweated in 4 tablespoons unsalted butter 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 2 cans San Marzano tomatoes, crushed with potato masher
• 1 tablespoon chili flake
• 1 teaspoon salt or more to taste
• 6 oz. tomato paste mixed with one cup heavy cream
• 6 sausages poached until just firm
• 2 large Jack and Cokes

Oregon Chapter Day One

$500,000 blind
Can't even see chairs or Greenie

Cliffy texted me the night before inquiring about the potential of us hunting together on Sunday.  I responded with a yes, it would be possible.  Cliffy said he'd pick me up at 5:30 but showed up early and we made it to the gate at 5:40,  to our surprise it was open which would give us an extra 20 minutes to get out to the point and set up by 6:40 shooting time.  We arrive at the water and it is up, up to a perfect level.  The wind is blowing north at a good clip.  We went around the point to the cove around the corner and set up with the wind at our backs.  We threw the blocks out to the other side of the cove to help induce the green head bastard land in front of us and hunkered down into the brush.  4 green head bastards floated into our spread just before shooting time, our setup seemed to be just what they wanted.  A little while in a green head bastard floated in and Cliffy with no hesitation pasted him.  Waylon naturally leapt into action.  Only needing a splash to locate for a perfect retrieve.  The morning fly was quite spectacular rivaling things that I've seen in Idaho.  Just before the sun lit up our spread 5 Greenies floated in and I did my best Bob DaFolder impersonation, 5 left just as fast as they flew in.  Some Widgeon flew through and seemed to flare, maybe the sun isn't only lighting our blocks up but us as well.  I was chilled so I decided to build a $500,000 blind just behind us.   We were set and looking good.  After awhile in our new digs we decide to call it, just some high fliers, nothing to see here.  We pack up and have a peaceful walk back to the truck, Cliffy's bag a little heavier.

So Much For Tradition

"Time To Kill"

by Bob Da Folder

*

*

You packed up and left the truck over an hour ago.

Sometimes if the moon is still bright you don't even

need a headlamp to make your way out to the area

where you want to set up. It's cold out but the long

walk with the pack on makes you sweat inside your

waders and under all the layers. As you set your

decoys in the still water surrounding your blind, your

body cools and you can feel the chill in the air again.

Finally, with everything complete, it's time to wait

for sunrise.Just before the first light of day you can

hear the whistle of ducks flying near you. Wondering

what they are is almost torture. Are they the fat

greenies you hope to see again at first light, or are

they another brand, something you have never seen

before? Not long now till you start to make out shapes

and can see a little bit better as the sun comes closer

to the horizon. Now, as the other creatures of the woods

wake up and start to move around, you know that the

time is here. Time to kill.

Guest Editor.

HA!

HA!  it is I, Greenie. And I rule!


I have to post today to your weak attempt at literacy.
I saw you today Bob D.  You made your way to Anderson lake and the spot you like to call The Point.  I call it sanctuary.

Sure you set a nice spread of mallard statues and a string of zombies that move when you pull on an incredibly visible string.  You even thought you could hide by sitting behind some windblown debris. First thing in the morning all my diver friends flew around and sat in your statues and me and my friends went to the place you call The Tip.  We made happy noise and flapped our wings to distract you from the minute I made my approach. That's right, it was me.  I flew right into your 'cil zone', sat down and waited for you to try to see me.  Finally you gave me the old Booglie booglie boo and I made a hasty retreat while you fired off 3 whole shots and missed me every time.  Every time!  What a chump.  At least you swore and checked your gun for straightness.  It makes me laugh which I'm sure you heard as I flew away.

After those fat bastard geese finally stopped flying right over your head repeatedly, (they know full well that you are too pussy to shoot at them cause I told them) I waited for a bit then made my move.  Yep, me again.  This time I came in from the left with one of my many many girlfriends.  You couldn't even hit me then.  My fat belly was way to big for your stupid Itrallian gun.  It's bent anyway. I flew off to join all my buddies out on the lake.  I think all the diver friends are on to you because they kept landing and flying around while you kept looking for me.  I'm way to smart for that.

I saw you take that nap and pull up all those weak looking plastic fakes.  I sent some fat geese over to smite you and then as you put your pack on and started walking out I knew it was the right time to bring all 50 or 60 of us over your head.  Go home loser!

Ha! It is I Greenie, and I RULE!

Three Days of Hunting.

Or, "Two of Three Days We Thought Clider Had Surely Died."

Anticipation

The week long hunting trip this year was canceled due to my redirected vacation time, but that did not stop Fred G from traveling out to the great state of Idaho this year.  After all, he does most of his Greenie shooting out here and wanted to leave with a comfortable lead in the 'Expert' title department.  I picked him up at the airport with more than enough daylight for an easy trip to Anderson for an afternoon hunt.  He arrived wearing all his layers and stone sober from the flight.  Instead I took him to Cabellas, the wikki store and the grocery store and then home to sort decoys and find our guns from their summer hibernation.  Clider came over after a bike ride and we made plans for the following day. I didn't even have ice!

The Point was in order for the first day of my season and we left early so that we could set up and rebuild the blind.  Other hunters have been using our hides because water is low in other parts of the Chain Lakes so needless to say, changes had to be made.  We spent $14,680 and put out a fine spread.  The pre-shooting hour flyovers and the sheer number of ducks and geese making a racket out on the water made it seem to be a promising day. The first shooting opportunity waited until Clider took a walk to distract Peat from the fact he had nothing to retrieve.  We seem to feel it was a canvasback simply from the majestic way if floated into our spread and refused to jump up and fly away after repeatedly giving him the ole' Boogilie boogilie boo.  He swam off before Clider returned so he was skeptical.  I went like that for pretty much the rest of the day.  Clider takes a walk and scares up some ducks. Nobody shoots anything.  Peat takes a nap. Etc.

Day 2 found us going to The Blind and bringing with us the Armada of duck and goose decoys that Clider has had littering his basement for the past couple years.  He traveled in the boat with decoys while Fred, Peat and I walked out light as a feather and without a moose shell in our chambers.  We all set blocks in a random but planned fashion and then went to work on The Blind, which needed some work to blend in with the current surroundings. The most notable new thing at The Blind was the incredible volume of wet mud inside the perimeter.  It ate chair legs and boots with equal disdain. I was in the middle and sank at least 4 inches in with every sit.  It's almost amazing that shortly after shooting time I was able to jump up and blast a hen widgeon so spot on that Peat was reluctant to even retrieve it.  Less suprising is that when the first greenie came in Clider missed and Fred forgot that your safety needs to be off in order to shoot.  They then both fired at the same time and team slayed the first greenie of the year.  I owe them each $5 which I somehow forgot to pay Fred before he left.  What a dick!

Another duck was shotten but I forget by who.  I was too busy sinking into the mud while my blind mates had learned how to reline into the brush and become comfortable.  I took a walk and found an old barge that gave up some 2X8 lumber to make a bench, and then another to make a footrest. Our feet were warm for the first time all day. It cost a cool 10K for each board but it was totally worth it. The sun shone and the ducks settled into somewhere other than where we were so it was time for Clider to take a walk.  He disappeared for hours.  We decided he was dead so we called it and started to pull up blocks.  Turns out he had walked to The Point and back to randomly shoot at nothing.  We had a sammy and headed home.

Day 3 started with 2 inches of snow on the Jeep and spirits were positive for a great day just like the one years ago when the snow and wind had brought mucho patos from the sky to the grill.  The plan was to go to an all together new area but we returned to The Blind knowing full well that that was where all the birds would be going.  Less decoys and better seating greeted us at The Blind but strangely few shooting opportunities presented themselves.  It wasn't until Clider sped off in the boat that the wind picked up to gale force.  He was gone so long the only possible outcome was that he had capsized and drown so, once again, we started spinning up all the decoys and packed the blind in time for his improbable return.  A sammy in Harrison on the way home and sadly it was all over.

That night Fred G. attempted to "teach me how to fish" by learning me in the ways of making my favorite meal ever, the Sauce.  We also prepared for this lesson by drinking a bottle of Jack so it's clear that I have forgotten the process but what I won't forget it the giant winds that knocked out the power and let us finish the cooking by candle light.  Dinner and delicious wine that night with a fire blazing in the fireplace and candle light lighting the cabin was my personal favorite part of yet another great trip.  Praise Heston!

Cilling Time

Wed
Nov 11

45°F

Thu
Nov 12

41°F

Fri
Nov 13

46°F

Sat
Nov 14

48°F

Sun
Nov 15

45°F

Mon
Nov 16

41°F

Tue
Nov 17

43°F

28°F

36°F

41°F

36°F

36°F

36°F

28°F

WSW 17 MPH
Precip 90%

S 7 MPH
 

S 16 MPH
Precip 60%

SSW 16 MPH
Precip 50%

SW 11 MPH
Precip 30%

S 7 MPH
Precip 20%

S 15 MPH
Precip 20%

Averages
44°F/31°F

Averages
44°F/31°F

Averages
43°F/30°F

Averages
43°F/30°F

Averages
42°F/30°F

Averages
42°F/30°F

Averages
41°F/29°F

I'm Back in the Game.

This is Clyde, having a smoke and getting ready to slay with his dog Copper.  Much like him I too am getting ready to slay after a long off season.  I'm writing to you today from the massive air terminal of Bradley International Airport as I sit waiting for my flight home.  I have been here in the great state of Connecticut helping my Mother with things as she recovers from chemotherapy.  You will be happy to know she is doing well and should be cancer free after only one more dose of Chernobyl Chowder.

Over the past weeks I have been a carpenter, stone mason, plumber, painter, roofer, auto detailer and most importantly, a landscaper.  I have seen enough maple leaves to last me for quite some time.  The pile I have created, the best one of three, is easily the size of an Escalade and might be visible from space.  I was very happy to be able to help and get her set for the winter months that are quickly approaching the Eastern seaboard.  But now I'm coming home.  It's time to Cil.

The 'Expert' title seems to be up for grabs even after my absence.  I thought for sure that I would be playing catch up because all the other Western chapter members have had weeks to go hunt and pad their duck totals before I even had a chance to dig my waders out of storage,  I don't even have a license yet.  But it turns out that nobody wants to shoot a Greenie.  I spoke with Clider and it seems he's more interested in riding bicycles than shooting.  Fred G claims that there is no water and Cliffy is too busy having birthdays to hunt.  Well watch out suckers,  Bob D. is back!

Look at my Grandfather standing there, gloves on, boots all laced up, license on his cap and ready to slay.  I'm sure if picture resolution had been invented yet we would be able to see a glint of anticipation in his eyes.  The knowledge that today might be the best day of hunting ever.  That's me right now, knowing that in a few short days I too will be out hunting and having possibly the best day I can, reclaiming what is rightfully mine, the title of 'Expert'.

GBCH

Day One PDX a Comedy

I really thought that I was prepared for this day.  I checked to see if it was a cilling day because usually right after the opening they close it down for about 4 days or so to let the smoke clear I guess.  It was.  Today was the first day right after the closing and if I was to go hunting on Monday like I planned I would have been poaching.

Running around my house like a chicken with its head cut off. I packed my blocks the night before, check, got my headlamp out and made sure it worked, check. Shells, check.  Waders and boots ready, check.  Next morning. Couldn't find my headlamp in the morning, found another one but batteries are dead, find new batteries.  Wikki bottle not filled, only had 1/3 of a bottle.  Start the truck all nice and early to defrost  pull it up to the end of the driveway so that I don't disturb the neighbors with Lisa's big voice.  Jump into truck ready to hit the road and I'm doing that mental checklist thing.  Check, check, check, gun? damn! almost took off without the Benelli.  Opening bell sounds off at a respectable 6:30 but the gate at the park doesn't open until 6:00.  So I'm on the road at 5:35 should get me to the gate on time.  I'm four exits away from the turn off and Lisa's headlights start blinking, not in a steady way but on and off like people in front of me must be wondering why am I flashing my headlights on and off.  Do I turn around and go back home I think?  I figure that I'm closer to the hunting spot than I am to home, so I go on.  Get to the exit and the lights turn off for good, luckily it's close to 6:00 and visibility is okay.  Pull into the spot and of course I am the only one there.  I park and I smell something burning, oh great I just drove all the way there  with the parking brake on!

Cilling time is in a half hour which is aboot how long it takes to get out there.  I haul ass out there and find that the water level has not gone up any but there are more standing water pools due to the recent deluge.  Find some huntable water but there is not really any time to build a blind.  I find a nice size bush with some tall grass around it and hunker down next to it and I have to admit I was looking pretty good.

My negative outlook of the day was not helping my mindset.  No water equals no ducks.  Right?  It's the Old New Spot Beginning of the year it can't be good.  After an hour or so a merganser flies through, then through again.  Hen mallard wants me badly, but I'm not there for her.  She too tries to die again but I'm not falling for it.  Overcast skies and a slight wind.  Three greenies fly in wanting me, right through my meek spread of 6 blocks.  Maybe I chalk it up to first day jitters but I give them the ole "come back" call while they are coming in.  Makes them flare and they are gone.  They did make another fly by but high up.  So what do I take from this?  Nothing.  Hunting season starts next week in Idaho.  Me and Clider are going to cill it.  Then I'll die in the boat, probably.

Scouting the Old Old Spot and More

At the Old Spot blind looking towards King Day Cillin Spot

At the Point looking towards the Old New Spot

Today I packed up and decided to go scout the hunting spots before hunting season starts.  After having a really dry summer I knew there would not be too much water and that is exactly what I found.  As you can see from the pictures water is nonexistent.  I hiked all the way around the point and down to the Old New Spot.  To tell you the truth I was pretty excited to make my way down there haven't being down there in several years.  Water all along the way was scarce, no water close enough to shore to build a blind, or because the water was so low that what their was got really deep really fast.  I made it down to the Old New Spot and it has grown into possibly fantastic hunting spot depending the time of the year.  After scouting there I make my way back and cut up through the berm towards the "hatch" area.  Would you believe it! they removed the "hatch" and now the is a potential river, that is now dry, maybe being huntable.  I time the walk back to the truck and from the Old New Spot it was 40 minutes.   Not too bad? (don't forget that would be after partaking in some wikki and such)

Looking back at the Old Old Spot

"Hatch" area

Happy Birthday Cliffy

40 and So Much Wiser.