Coming Home with....

Nothing

Water Water Water

I'm standing here in water.

The water that was just at my feet.

But now...

It's up to my waist.

It's gotten deeper.

It keeps getting deeper.

I'm standing waist deep in the water.

Wondering if will ever go out.

No matter where I go, 

or where I turn, 

I never seem to get out of this water.

I hope my waders do not leak

It sucks my expertise 

it never seems to end.

I will hunt in it or drown in it

waist high in the water, 

I know what will happen.

The water will get deeper.

Deeper until I drown my expert status, 

greenie will drown with it.

When the water leaves, 

out will it go with me.

It's only waist deep, 

for now I am still afraid.

A Symmetrization

WTF? is really all I can say. You guys in Oregon are such losers.  Lets go back a few weeks.  Honestly your first day out to Sauvies was a monumental day for you wackos.   Cliffy nice job working that double of shovel.  (I kill myself) You stepped right up no pressure, within minutes, bam your on the board.  Then an oh my Heston moment, bam and you got three now, but too bad it was a NR.  By the way Fred G. the effort you made looking for my friend Pinnie was commendable, how you made your silly team mate go out with you after shooting hours and spend 30 minutes looking for her well, made my eye tear up.  No it did not!  I hated that chick, beyotch could not hold her smoke, what it was.  Glad she's gone. 

Me and Julio hanging at the school yard.

And then the rain comes early this year.  First you complain there is not enough then there is too much.  You make your 40 minute hike and find more people than ever hanging out in "your" spots.  Boo f'n hoo.  Deal.  I commend you fools for going out week after week, thinking you are the best, you are not.  Trying to find some dry land so your little bottles of wikki don't get wet and give you the giardia.  But I laugh at you instead, you are losers!  I see you every morning, but there is soooo much aqua, (means water) that I could go anywhere I want, and that does not mean hanging out with you d'bags.  I saw you early morning at the racetrack, oooh, racetrack!  You realize I could see you in that stupid blind miles away?!  And then I saw you at MY super secret spot, how you guys found that spot I don't know.  I must say you were well hidden in your lay down blinds, I didn't even see you guys when I flew in.  But I am so awesome I smelled you out, you guys do stink. You could not even raise your silly little guns to me.  

Remember that camera you dropped in the water?

So keep up your valiant effort, you see where it has gotten you so far, for Heston sake Fred G. you have only shotten your gun twice in Oregon.  You don't even have a cil here.  Pathetic. Those quackers in Idaho (I kill myself)  you took down were stupid lazy park ducks that live in IDAHO for Heston sake.  They might even be from that crappy town of Kellogg.  Again, pathetic.  Time is ticking and I'm winning!  I quack in your general direction.

Idaho: Day... 12 maybe?

It's been a while since I posted.  Snow came to the Silver Valley, work heated up, customers want to bother me and I've been busy.  Not too busy to hunt, just too busy to post.  But unlike some of my other teammates who shall remain nameless, (Cliffy and Clider) I am taking time from my couch nap to make this post.  What a guy eh?

Mr. Widgeon.

I hunted a couple days by myself after the last greenie shooting incident I posted here. A day at the Blind on Anderson and a day at the Point that were both unsuccessful but much needed.  The most recent day I went with Clider to the Point and we put out a massive spread which resulted in a widgeon to add to my totals.  I was forced to shoot him because he bolted by me so fast I couldn't see that he was not, in fact, a greenie.  All I saw was the white underbelly he flashed coming from left to right and my natural reaction was to take the shot.  I dropped him with one pull of the trigger but Clider had to finish him off as he was closer to the little bastard when he attempted to get away.  Clider may have shotten a duck too but you will have to wait for his post to learn more.

Today I thought I would be working but the reality was me having the day off so the only reasonable thing to do was to get up ass crack early and head out into the cold darkness. We recently had a cold front move in and with the snow and cold it brought I'm sure some ducks came with it.  The good news was that the mountain finally got busy but the bad news was that I did too.  Even though I missed the brunt of the system I still had some good looking weather ahead.  This morning brought a layer of snow on the ground and some below freezing temps.  I left a little early to account for the bad roads and being sure I got to the Point first.  The walk out was stunning, with 3/4" snow that had fallen so lightly that it covered every twig and branch in a layer of light airy snow.  I was careful not to bump any branches near the blind and it looked fantastic being all white and covered just like the surroundings area.  Noisy mallards were scared up form the waters around the blind as I made my walk and many more were calling on the lake as I set up.  Seems that the refuge on the other side had frozen up and I was surrounded by greenies on my lake before the opening bell.

boredom set in

There was a bit of a morning fly but soon after the light came all I could see were geese and divers.  Mergansers flew around me the whole day but I opted to wait for Greenie and while I did Mergies Bufflehead and Geese all made appearances and landings around me.  I contemplated shooting them all but the widgeon from the other day reminded me to measure my shots carefully.  Nothing presented itself (except when I was pulling up of course) and no shots were taken.  I'd rather think of this day as one for the scenery books than one for ducks.  It sure was gorgeous.  Tow days from now I will be back at it with Clider and Rocky the Bartender, wish me luck.
GBCH

Founders Tour: Day 5

The afternoon before day 5 we cooked up lots of delicious duck.  I learned how to make confit from Fred G and we tried a double batch of Duck chilli from a DU recipe I found on line.  Food was everywhere and we feasted on the famous Vodka Sauce from 3DD that my friend had brought all the way from home.  (quick note, he packaged the frozen sauce inside foil wrapping covered with plastic and then bound with tape.  It looked like something out of an episode of Bordertown Cops.  Not surprisingly it got searched and sampled by the T.S.A.)  The cabin smelled like the best place in the world to be, which of course it is, complete with the best slayers in the Pacific Northwest. I think I still have enough chilli in the freezer to last until next season.

Rather than waking up early and taking a 40 min boat ride in the pitch blackness we slept in and made our way to Round Lake after the sun rose.  Remember that Round Lake is the place where all the old-timers say you shoot your limit every day.  Rocky and I had scouted there and built a blind earlier in the season but never having been there for hunting we were cautiously optimistic.  Taking the boat out during the day is much less daunting but still has its share of tension.  Last time there it ran out of gas on the way back and, even though I had plenty of gas this time, rowing back from that far out was not on my list of things I wanted to do.   The St Joe river winds its way out along the banks of Round Lake on the right and another body of water on the left. It’s a beautiful ride along tree and long-grass shores complete with deer and the occasional moose.  Nice.  When we got to the hunting spot the water was down far enough to take the prebuilt blind out of play so we improvised at a new spot not far from the original.  Fred G threw out a perfect looking spread of blocks and I built a small blind in a tangle of trees with views downriver on the left and over the lake to our right.  We were set, and looking good.

 

Another thing the old-timers say is that clear skies and calm weather make for poor duck hunting.  They are right. High flyers were the order of the day and all the highball calling in the world did nothing to bring them down.  We did our best to enjoy the sunshine and new surroundings but in the end decided to pull up and try another spot on the way back to the truck.  That spot too was unproductive, and it was getting late so we motored back to the put-in as the sun retreated over the mountains.  Another day with not much in the way of slaying but large in scenic beauty.  The magic of the first days perfect conditions and many ducks was giving way to the more typical H7HT results but even without greenies we still managed to have a great day with still more hunting to come.

GBCH

Founders Tour Day Six

The final day of the tour we knew where we wanted to go, we knew the spread we wanted to throw out, we knew it all.  We procure the point.  Having not been there in a year I must say things looked good.  The boys kept up with the foot path I blazed last year and they built a sweet blind.  Water was down a little bit from last year, and I would have loved to have  seen it as Bob describes it now with the water 5 feet from the blind.  The weather was sunny and warm with a drizzle thrown in here and there for good measure.  The morning fly was slow and it spilled over into the rest of the day.  There were shots we could have taken but did not due to the flavor.  Bob went for a walk to scare some ducks up for me, trying to put me on some birds.  I was enjoying the sunrise over the mountains leaning back in my chair, gun not even close to me when a set of mallards came in. I could do nothing but watch as they flew in wanting to party and then turn and land 50 yards out.  I figured it would be a good idea to at least look alert, so I pull my gun closer and adjust my shades.  Bob is behind me on the other side of the slew when a set of mallards come straight in at me.  "I could really use this one to pad my lead" I said under my breath.  Full fold green head bastard even landed on dry land.  Only regret was not pulling the trigger on the other monster because I was looking on in awe at my folding prowess.  The sun broke through and the day turned nice, we decided to pack it up and head home.  Another Founder Tour comes to an end.  Thanks Idaho Chapter it was fun, really fun.  Signed.

The Expert.

GBCH

Founders Tour: Day 3.

East shoreline of Killarney

So on day three of the Founders Tour we decided to take the boat out to Killarney and shoot all the ducks in the entire area.  Something I have not mentioned about the boat yet, it scares me.  Motoring about in the light of day in the summertime when the water is nice and warm is one thing, quite another when it’s pitch black dark and you have on 5 layers of clothes.  Oh, and just listen to the horror stories about your waders filling with water and dragging you down then go out at 4:30 am and try to see where you’re going with a flashlight and a large person sitting 2 feet in front of you.  Let’s not forget the boat is loaded with 400lbs of hunters and 100+lbs of gear too and then consider the little motor bouncing off the mud and logs on the bottom of the lake now that the water is down.  No big deal you say? come on out and try it, Nancy. So, of course, off we went.

Cleaning the prop with mud

After a nice ride of terror I was able to land us right back at the exact spot Clider and I hunted the week before.  We didn’t see much that day but no other guns were going off around the lake either so we hoped today would be different.  It was.  We had good flying in the early part of the morning and the decoys looked good.  I don’t remember the exact sequence of events but I can tell you we missed some shots before the greenie came flying up.  I dispatched him with a round of Black Cloud Close Range.  Turns out he was, in fact, too close for that particular shell as I basically removed his rear section with the shot.  He fell from the sky and almost hit Fred G. on his way to landing mere feet from us.  If only I had reacted 1 second sooner it may have been one for the ages, oh well.  Not long after Fred G also shot a greenie who immediately dove underwater and disappeared never to be seen again.

After a while we pulled up and motored over to the other side of the lake where Clider and I had seen all the ducks the previous week.  On the way we hit a big rock or log which smashed the motor out of the water and scared the shit out of me….again.  We set up on the bank for a short time but the ducks were elsewhere that day so we pulled it and headed for some tasty beverages and more ducey.  It was planned that the next day (Thurs) we would chill and do some cooking of the many ducks we had.  The World’s Best Duck Chilli was on it’s way and we prepared by drinking a lot of wikki.  I think this was to be the evening we argued over the state of the world and scared my Sweetie and the cat into not coming anywhere near us.  Remember, we are the Founders and we are pretty!

Photo Essay (Revisited)

Founders Tour Day Four

Clider had a plate and screws taken out of his leg two days ago and doctor told him to take it easy for two weeks.  So we pick Clider and Peat up really early so we could get to the point before anyone else, and we could use the boat to shuttle Clider out so he doesn't have to make the walk.  Well wouldn't you know it those same mother f'ers were there before us again!  Plan #7.7, Bob and Clider pack up the boat with all the gear and boat down to the blind and I take the truck and drive down to the path and hike it in.  I hand my gun to Clider to pack into the boat and he asks me what I'm doing?  He reminds me of the fabled moose with eight foot eyes he saw on that path and recommends that I take my gun and put a shell in it.  "Oh Great!" I think to myself not wanting to sound like a pussy, now I have to deal with the cougar and a moose!  I high tail it down the path making sure my headlamp only see's the ground so I don't shine it into the moose's eyes. 

Moose are not usually aggressive towards humans, but can be provoked or frightened to behave with aggression. In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined, but usually with only minor consequences. On the American continents, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more. When harassed or startled by people or in the presence of a dog, moose may charge. Also, as with bears or any wild animal, moose that have become habituated to being fed by people may act aggressively when denied food. During the fall mating season, bull moose may be aggressive toward humans due to the high hormone levels they experience. Cows with young calves are very protective and will attack humans who come too close, especially if they come between mother and calf. Unlike other dangerous animals, moose are not territorial, and do not view humans as food, and will therefore usually not pursue humans if they simply run away.

Like any wild animal, moose are unpredictable and should be given a respectful amount of space. They are most likely to attack if annoyed or harassed, or if their "personal space" has been encroached upon. Moose that have been harassed may vent their anger on unwary victims, and often do not make distinctions between their tormentors and innocent passers-by. Moose are very limber animals with highly flexible joints and sharp, pointed hooves, and are capable of kicking with both front and back legs. Unlike other large, hooved mammals, such as horses, moose can kick in all directions including sideways. Sideways! They can kick sideways!

Enough about the moose.  I greet the boat and pull it toward shore and we unload Clider and the gear. After we set up an awesome spread we settle into our spots and await the morning fly.  An american widgeon wants a part of our party and Clider has to deny this one at the door.  He drops her and again she starts to swim away.  Clider calls out to me "Fred I might need some help with this one," me forgetting he just had major surgery two days ago.  I jump out and head to the water to put the finishing touches on her.  I turn and there is Peat and Clider making their way into the water, Clider just can't stay out of the action.  Peat makes another long retrieve and Clider is moving up to expert status quickly. Clider comments on how the water therapy feels good on his newly rebuilt leg.  So good that within a few minutes he's out there retrieving a hen mallard, but again she is swimming away trying to drop his totals like I drop my alarm clock every morning.  This time she's too far out and Bob has to make the assist and retrieve in the boat. 

For some reason Bob is in and out of consciousness all morning.  Clider and I seem to be hunting by ourselves which is okay because action is steady but not great.   Bob is out for a walk with Peat trying to stay awake and on his way back in two geese start coming into our spread. They want us, the goose decoys I bought for the team seem to be working.  They are gliding in slow and low.  Clider's and my mouth are watering.  Clider gives the order "Lets take them!"  Two come in and only one leave, I fold mine.  I'm in the water retrieving and Peat is right behind me like a good boy charging at the goose.  Peat gets to the goose and wants nothing to do with the monster and walks away.  Let me just say geese are tough.  It's getting late and almost time to call it.  I tell Clider one sure way of bringing is some birds is to unload your gun.  So I unload my gun and tell Clider to keep his loaded, oh yeah Bob is sleeping now.  Sure enough about 8 mallard come in wanting us in the bad way.  I silently reload my gun and as the last shell goes in a green head bastard puts down it's gear right in front of me, needless to say the easiest retrieve ever for Peat, and he wanted nothing to do with it.  Bob started the day as Expert, but I leave being the Expert, feels good, pretty good.

Lore 2008

                                                      

                                           
                                          

What the Hell?

I am not liking what I'm reading on this toilet paper.  You guys (Fred and Bob) are murdering my friends, WHAT THE HELL!?!?  What did they ever do to you?  I'm not liking the ending of this story.  I will come by in a couple of weeks and decimate your little club, and when I say little you know exactly what I mean.  I quack in your general direction.

The Money Shot

BDF for first Greenie

$10 short no less

Clider for first duck

On behalf of the Oregon Chapter.

Founders Tour Day 2

Day one's take

After a busy evening of plucking ducks we awake wondering if the day could possibly bring the same results as day one.  Heston surely blessed us.  Today we are hunting with the newest members of the H7HT, Clider and Peaty.  We're heading out to hunt the point but when we  arrive there are other hunters loading up their boat to head out to the point.  Being the best we have a plan, #7, hunt the blind on the lake.  We walk out in a light rain and along the way Clider lays a story on us of his encounter with a moose on the very same path we are walking out on.  We get to our spot throw our blocks out and settle onto the reeds.  

Day one was amazing, we were folding like superman on laundry day.  Fully folding, barely missing and when we connected they were dead eye shots.  Day two, well, was different.  Birds were flying in pretty steady, but we could not fold anything.  Guns bent?  I take a walk to clear my head, "was yesterday just a fluke?" I think to myself.  On my way back to the blind I spy a hen wanting our spread so did they guys.  They both unload on it and both think it's not hit, they were wrong and gave up on it too soon.   I watch the hen land far out, she's done, and I have her spied.  I'm wading out to retrieve when I remember we have a dog to do this for us.  Before I knew it Peaty was behind me on his way out to make about 100 yard retrieve.  Good Boy!  Back at the blind there was a small discussion between Bob and Clider as to who did the folding.  It was decided that Clider would take this one and if the same situation arose Bob would take the next.

More shots taken and missed.  It's getting ridiculous. Sets of two are flying in and all three of us are unloading our guns and then they fly away, laughing at us.  It's like a game to them.  Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm feeling like death and not partaking in any blind games, or my gun bent due to all the shells I put through it yesterday, or maybe Heston was trying to give me some kind of sign.  Then out of nowhere greenie is back looking for his woman.  Again we all unload on him, but it's clear that mine were just failed attempts, my other two comrades on the other hand were back in controversy as to who, partially folded it.  I say partially because the bird is still swimming away and he's out there.  Again Clider and Peaty are out there for a retrieve.  Clider puts another in the duck and Peaty with another 100 yard plus retrieve.  Peaty is working his ass off for these guys, but he loves it.  I mention the fact that if Peaty were not with us that bird would have been a NR, or a non-retrieve bird, and one of them would have gotten  minus.  So with that we all agreed to give Peaty the bird.  The morning dried up and I could not be more happy to get this day behind me, I felt like crap and my shooting was less than desirable.   Plus with all the cleaning I did the night before I was happy to not to have to be plucking no feather.

Idaho: Day 9

Can't see me, can ya?

I know, I skipped over Day 8, here it is. Clider and I went to Killarney and took the boat out to a spot I saw this summer while motoring about.  We saw some good flying but noting came into our murderous path so we pulled up and boated to the other side of the lake where we scared up bunches and bunches of mallards.  Not knowing if it was on or off limits we sat and watched all the ducks try to land right back where we were sitting but they couldn't because we were there looking conspicuous.  So we left.  Day 8.


On to Day 9.
I was not real sure I wanted to go out this morning.  After a long Founders Tour and some days of working at the shop I really wanted to just sleep in. The skies were clear when I went to sleep after watching the Giants CRUSH their competition, if you can call the GB Packers that, and the moon was shining bright.  Not a good promise of great hunting for the next morning but my brain had different ideas.  I woke at 3:00, 3:30, 3:40 and 3:45 looking at the clock and thinking to myself that if I tried to sleep the stupid brain would just keep prodding me to do something.  I left at 4:10.

Elbow shooter

It was cold and clear when I got to the Point on Anderson but the water was way up.  Back to within 5 feet of the shoreline thanks to the recent rainy weather that is killing my ski job. I set my blocks and refurbished the blind as it was looking like a big brown hole in the shoreline.  Some fresh grasses and new tree sprigs made me look like, well, nothing, which was just the way I wanted it to be. Ducks were rocketing over the spread and geese were everywhere in the dark morning light, not a bad way to start.  Right after the bell a fat mallard came undetected from the right and landed in the blocks right in front of me.  I jumped and gave him the ole' boogalie boogalie boo, but he sat tight and swam around like there was not a care in the world.  Finally I moved enough and he jumped to the left and I took a shot, just one, but missed.  He was so savvy to my boogalie that I gave him some respect and did not shoot again.  It was about 15 min later when the next mallard pair came screaming in from the right and I brought my gun all the way up to my elbow, taking two shots at the greenie, and wishing I had taken my time to properly shoulder the Benelli.  They bolted right and landed 100 yards out on the lake.  Another greenie came straight in and circled twice before bolting left towards the refuge on the other side of the river and I then remembered the wise words of the 'Expert'.  "It is better to have shotten and missed....etc".  Mistake noted.

Now 2 hours in, sun breaking through the clouds, the action was drying up.  I had a couple more high flyers and many geese, including some beautiful snows, that passed close to me but nobody wanted in.  It was about that time I noticed something floating in on the wind swept water from the right side of the lake.  Could it be?  Yes, it was the greenie that had flown off seemingly unscathed from my shottening 20 min before.  I waded out hoping it was not just a log or debris that was driven in but it was the Greenie from my elbow shot, still warm and fresh.  Back at the cabin my C.S.I. told me I had put two in the body but he still was flyable, likely why he looked alright flying off.  The great Lord Heston had given me a gift, a Greenie I did not even know I had.  Not long after I pulled up in the brilliant sunshine and made for home.  A good day I almost did not take advantage of.  Lesson learned.


GBCH.

Another Ruling on the Field

If the year ends up with no banded bird the money 

goes into a pool and rolled over to the next season until

 someone, like Fred G., folds the first banded bird.

GBCH

Happy Turkey Day!!!!

 Be Safe.....whatever your smoking!

 

Day 1. Founders Tour

That time of year has come once again.  The annual Founders Tour!  What, were you thinking Turkey day?  Cause we could have shot a turkey too, or at least run one over on the way home from hunting.  But the Founders Tour it is.
This year I had a surprise up my sleeve for the tour.  I had secretly replaced the little Ford Ranger with a much bigger and uglier Ford which could now take us anywhere.  The other truck was adorable but, with it's little tired engine and limited life span, it could not be depended on to not suffer a catastrophic failure. Something I hoped not to repeat for the 3rd year in a row.  Plus it suffered massive wheel bearing failure the week before with Clider and myself coming home from Killarney.  Everything's cool!  Fred G had his own surprise up his sleeve.  Ebola.  As I type this report I am still hacking up ebola covered Southern Comfort.  Thanks buddy.

Monday morning was colder and foggy when we left the house but the weather started to improve as we got closer to Anderson.  It started snowing.  I had decided that after plane flights, airport drives and some early evening beverages it would be a good idea to start with an old favorite.  I had a $485,000 blind built but Clider informed us that the water had retreated and it would be better to sit on the hard edge of the water line and hunt from there.  We made our way out as the snow got heavier and set a beautiful spread in no time.  All those years of hunting together allow us to read each others minds sometimes.  I could tell Fred G was thinking "Bob will certainly shoot the first duck today" which is why I was surprised he agreed to a 'drink making' bet so easily.  Sure enough, not long after the bell I folded a Greenie who wanted in from the snow and wind.  He dropped right in the decoys and we waited for the next ducks.  They weren't long in coming.

Mucho Patos Holmes

Our grand total was 7 mallards that day, Fred G with 5 and me with 3 but one lost to the lake.  It was a bad feeling losing that duck but the only bad feeling of the day.  Heston had blessed us with one of the best hunting days of all time.  Cold wind and light snow fell all day long, ducks consistently flew near to or landed in the decoys and we were neither wet or cold under our gear. I only hope the pictures can do justice to the beauty of the lake that day. 

We headed home and cleaned ducks, Fred teaching me to utilize the legs and thighs that we were to save for making Duck Confit, and talked of the good fortune we were to have every day of the trip.  I can't think of a better way to begin the Founders Tour and Fred thought being the 'Co-Expert' in 1 day was pretty cool.  I also let him beat me in Ducey just to make him feel welcome in my home.  What a guy!

There Has Been a Ruling on the Field....

Before I get to the excitement that is this years Founders Tour, it's time to hear about the new rules for H7HT members.  In a moment of divine inspiration from Lord Heston we have decided to institute a non-retrieval rule. This is not because we don't do everything we can to retrieve our birds but more to make us think about the shots we do take.  If you are not able to retrieve your bird it counts as a -1 in your totals.  At the end of the season the person with the most negatives in their totals makes a donation to Ducks Unlimited reflecting $2 for every non-retrieval covering the entire team.  We foldem when their feet are down. 

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programing......

Almost time

Smart, savvy, pretty and successful.

It's that time of year again when the Founding Members of the H7HT get together to show the rest of the populace how to slay.  This Sunday Fred G. is arriving in the great state of Idaho for a week of Tom Foolery and some great hunting.  We will be in the boat, the blind and cleaning so many ducks it will be difficult to post in the next 7 days, but rest assured that we will be keeping you informed.  Please stay tuned.